Maybe he was choking on it then.

1) There’s a seagull along the jersey shore that owes me a burger from when I was 10. I don’t care that it was 30 years ago, that bird owes me a burger, it bitchslapped me and stole my lunch.

I really feel like the sentence “That was also when he took the ham” brings the whole article together. 

YES! I was looking for someone else to mention this! A good crisp sour is the perfect summertime beer. 

I don’t care about dude biceps, but I guess as a disinterested lesbian, his bicep is...ok-ish? I agree with the dude who mentioned delts and other upper body muscles. Also, he was totally flexing a little.

I have to admit I’m disappointed because I thought the headline was saying Kathy Hilton was a practicing pediatric dentist before she became a rich socialite.

He did get his law degree from Syracuse, and I know from my brother being an alum that they take their loyalty to orange very seriously. 

What about Splatoon? 

Yea pretty much once I came out, I thought back on my love of TNG and how I skipped the entire season without Dr Crusher and I was like ohhhhh...now I get it. Suddenly my conviction that Dr Crusher was the greatest character in all of television made total sense to me. 

Reform and in NJ, went to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs...definitely never had anything thrown at me at mine and didn’t toss any at anyone else. 

Reform and in NJ, went to a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs...definitely never had anything thrown at me at mine and didn’t toss any at anyone else. 

Don’t forget about New Kids on the Block in the early 90s...

did he forget about tiffany again?

Any kind of easy visual calendar is a must, at least for the start. I kept a dry erase calendar on my fridge, and would write in what days my son was here, and any other big events, so he could walk by and see it anytime...it made it so much easier on him because he didn’t have to worry or think about what day he was…

I feel like there’s a joke here about the French military, WW2, and how it wasn’t for us they’d be speaking German...

Well, the good news is if that’s how you feel there’s apparently quite the internet fetish community ready to embrace you. 

It’s actually Kevin James as himself. 

To be fair, “scrambling to move” could also mean “I didn’t plan to move in 2.5 months when my lease is up but now I have to”.

I hit 35 and suddenly the taste of ground turkey is absolutely vile to me. Like, I can’t even be in the kitchen when someone’s cooking ground turkey.

I have not had many mozzarella sticks, but I can confirm the TJ’s ones are trash, and I was deeply disappointed in myself for buying them once. So, so sad.