You didn't think Kevin Smith saying the Stargirl teaser was better than the birth of his child was interesting?

Seriously...the key to life is lowering your expectations. For everything.

“Seeing the paycheck warms her heart, but can it fill the the hole in her soul? No, but it will buy nachos, which are fucking delicious.”

“You pedal, but you go nowhere. You are trapped in a state of perpetual flight from which there is no escape. It is truly the most vicious cycle.”

This just needs to have an edit with Werner Herzog narrating the ad to make the journey complete.

Or just get a stationary bike and watch the Doctor Who serial “The Curse of Peladon,” one of the best third doctor stories! 

She’s clearly about to smash the screen with that dumbbell. I hope.

I like how 1-800-AAA-HELP looks a phone number turned into panicked scream.

“ Frost comes up with the plan to defeat him, which is basically pumping him so full of dark matter he overdoses and explodes into goo.”

I’d love to see this play with commentary by Richard Attenborough:

Block and Tackle is not the same without Pops Freshenmeyer’s classic JETS SUPERTHREAD TO THE MOOOOON. Guess he never made the switch to Kinja.

Does Kyle MacLachlan reprise his role as mayor of Portland?

They did win the superbowl that year. Homer was the best owner/gm the team ever had. 

One of the brighter spots in labor relations this century was everyone realizing you get what you pay for in skilled work during the referee lockout of 2012 -- those were some awful, awful games and that’s exactly what the NFL deserved for their dipshittery.

Not listed: San Diego

How many times have I fought beside you, Gyro? And this is how you repay me!?

The Sports Illustrated football phone ad was like five times better than any of the three contemporary ads. Why can’t advertising stick to tried and true methods like forcing “normal” people to be irrationally excited by really dumb things?

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Will she be as indelibly burned into Heritage Minute history as the “But I need these baskets back!” guy who almost prevented basketball from being invented? Here’s hoping.

If CBC still did an overnight sign-off montage, and owned the rights to the footage, the overhead shot after her victory would be part it.