Cosmo? No wonder they’re fucked up.

Hey, when ya got it, ya got it!

Yep, it’s the Eternal Mystery: How can so many people love someone who is so profoundly unlikable?

Thanks for the link. Interesting.

Of course. The Clintons have released to the public all of their tax returns for the last 30+ years. During the 2012 campaign, Mitt Romney promised to release his tax returns for the last several years, but he never did.

I doubt that this female writer is your mother, but Dr. Laura Schlesinger has a reputation as a total psycho bitch when she’s “on tour.” My best friend is Jewish, and his mom’s local Jewish Women’s Group paid to have LS come and speak to their group. This was back in the late 90s, I think. After her talk, a couple of…

It’s called “acting.”

Really, Mitt? I’ve heard of wearing a codpiece while strutting around the deck of an aircraft carrier, but never during a boxing match!

That bull went right for the jugular.

I’m surprised you overlooked this little gem: “For the first time in his life, Brad Pitt’s toilet seat is getting more ass than he is . . . “

Good call on David, Al, but I don’t think he’s hit bottom yet. That will happen the day Ann Coulter refuses to even give him a handjob.

When I was in college, in the mid-70s, I worked at a restaurant in Texas that was sort of like a Steak and Ale. On more than one occasion, somebody ordered Alaskan king crab legs, and tried to eat a whole leg, shell and all. Another time (or two), somebody ordered a steamed artichoke, and tried to eat the artichoke…

Looks like the ladies were naturals when it came to shoplifting.

In both countries, it wasn’t just about selling babies and making money, it was about torturing and murdering dissidents. In Chile, they are still called “The Disappeared,” because their bodies have never been found.

The events in Spain you mention were connected to the reign of terror of Generalissimo Francisco Franco, who was put into power with the help of the Roman Catholic Church. Many married, pregnant women in Spain were kidnapped and held until they gave birth, then tortured and murdered. Their newborn babies were handed…

“I blame the department . . . “ One cop, and perhaps the only cop in America who understands cause and effect.

Wait, can you watch porn on the Apple Watch? If so, I withdraw my pledge.

Vegetarianism aside for a moment, there is still so much bad karma in fast food it’s ridiculous. And then for some shitty writer to allow them to put his shitty writing on a paper bag to be wadded up and thrown in the trash is just begging to become fly-specked—in this life, if not in the next.

Baseball fans are stupid. But they’re still smarter than the players, managers, and team owners.

Hey, Leslie, you forgot the ground-up gym mats in the bread—about which Jared has been known to say, “It’s safe once the bread’s cooked.”