I know you can’t tell us but I think it’s either Mischa Barton or Katherine Heigl

He can Slytherin me any time.

Yet when I pull my junk out it’s “illegal” and i “go to jail” and “get a restraining order” wtf is with this double standard

Eh, I giggled a bit. Miley was off, but Britney was fun. I know people close to X-tina and apparently she isn’t very nice, and has a long-standing hatred of Brit. You can tell she really enjoys pretending to be her right there - just a touch too much saltiness in it!

omg I read that as “3rd grade porno” and wondered what kind of fucked up elementary school you went to.

I have gotten countless vaginal ultrasounds in the last 3 years, and not once have they EVER had to “sexually stimulate” me in order to get the scan. Like, at all. Like AT ALL. It would go right in, without anything inappropriate or awkward, beyond me apologizing that my body is always like, “haha no not again” and…

This whole thing is horrifying, but what the holy hell is happening with this sentence in particular?

I make that same noise when I run out of salsa, but still have chips in the bowl.

disappointed rabbit is disappointed

As long as Hillary’s policy positions keep moving to the left, to the left, I’m on board.

Hillary, leave your man at home. DC is full of ballers with they’re pockets full grown.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

I’m glad someone said it.

More like a desperate cry to be Kylie circa 2000.

Her shows/tours are notoriously boring and prone to cancellation. I feel bad for fans that spent money to get to Vegas, but honestly this is not surprising. And while her comment was a brilliant bit of shade, you know who is notoriously magnificent at putting on a great show & almost never cancels a show? Madonna.

I like Tracie Egan Morrissey, but anyone willing to spend thousands to see Mariah needs to re-evaluate.

My wife is a huge Garth Brooks fan so we got tickets to one of his early Vegas shows. I can’t imagine how upset she would have been if he had cancelled at the last minute. Not only about not seeing the show but the cost of the hotel, airfare, food, etc. which was not cheap. The cheapest thing about that weekend was…

Team Dog agrees.

My last Poms name was Steve, haha. I think Bill and Hank will be perfect together!

Could just be an asshole. I have mental issues but would never occur to me to do that