A few years ago I was telling my boyfriend that I'm worried afraid of being raped by a police officer, and some other guys overheard me and started laughing, like it was such a crazy thing to worry about. I feel like some men really don't get what the world is like for women at all. They think that rape only happens…

But...by definition, police are supposed to protect and serve. What you call "good cop" stories are SUPPOSED to be the norm, because that is a police officer's goddamn job. Jezebel reports on stories like this because they're NEWS. A police officer that does something heartwarming beyond the call of her/his job is…

This shit just keeps on happening. Honestly, I'm not even comfortable around police, and it's because of shit like this. I would not feel comfortable alone with a police officer. Serve and protect, my ass.

But was it rape-rape? Or like ... grey-rape? Legitimate rape?

So many questions to answer before I can decide how outraged to be. (But not to be answered until after I've vomited all over this keyboard.)

It's good but for imagery, I prefer Furby commercials.

I'm making my own. Because this shit would seriously not fly the other way around. It wouldn't even get an inch off the ground. Also, why is this called "50 Things Every Woman Should Know About Men" and not "50 Things Women Should Do For Men"? It's not a list of fucking facts. It's a list of commands. Anywhoo:

Because people like him think they speak for everyone. So, you know, even if you've been in a relationship with a man for 50 years, he knows more about it because his penis can read minds.

My response, when I saw this on a friend's FB feed yesterday with his line "pretty accurate," was "Start every sentence with 'You know you're banging a narcissist when he thinks...' and sort it out from there." My addition actually does make that list pretty darn useful!

Or by Princeton Mom. That lady be trollin' erryday.

I love that "he will never forgive you" is something we have to accept, but there's a whole bullet point about how ladies should forgive the man for everything they do and never bring it back up again.

Whatever your sickest, most twisted sexual fantasy, it's PG-13 material compared to the shit that goes on in his head.

Can someone tell me why it's so important to keep a controlling, sexist, unsupportive, selfish man in your life? It's really not the most critical thing in life and, in fact, only makes life more miserable.

And if he doesn't like your friends, you just never see them again. You spend your days alone in the kitchen preparing huge chunks of chicken for him.

I love that it's mostly a long list of all these things you're supposed to do for him yet #49 is "You're Not His Mother." I'll go live in a cave in on a remote mountaintop if my son ever grows up to be that lame.

But the list says to never lie to him because either he knows it or will become obsessively paranoid with figuring out if you lied to him and why! What if by agreeing with him we are lying to him?

I am disinclined to trust an internet stranger over the man I've been in a loving, long term, live in relationship with.

How about not aspiring to keep a man? I don't. I'm happy. Beautiful. Successful. Independent. If a man wants to be with me cool but I'm not turning myself inside out for him. I want a partner, not someone I have to try to keep.

This list should be called, "How to keep an insecure frat boy from growing up and learning how to treat women like people."

Whenever I feel bad about myself I like to read these lists. Because no matter how stupid I'm feeling, I know that there is at least one person out there who is beating me at it...

Why didn't I learn this in sex ed???? :(