Caillou's parents should be investigated for neglect at this point. A) He's 4. He should have hair by now. Aren't they worried that he might be ill? B) The kid needs some speech therapy. That impediment of his ain't going away on its own.

Flan?

Oh! And also Amelia Bedelia. I remember reading it with my mom as a seven- or eight-year-old and saying to her, "Um, why doesn't this family fire her? She's a really terrible housekeeper!" Out of the moths of babes....

asshole cat.

Also, the child bears are assholes in all of the books.

So many Children's Bibles. And I would get them multiple years in a row FROM THE SAME PERSON. I mean all the stories are basically the same, but my one aunt seemed determined to get me Every. Last. One.

Anything Bernstein Bears. I mean goddamn, why are their no proper nouns?!

I kind of did not like "A Wrinkle in Time"

Maybe that is more "Young Adult"? (I read it in 2nd grade so...)

i volunteer to smoke weed and answer questions for jezebel

That gif is the only good thing about this piece. No thank you.

That's my takeaway as well.

"This does not get out to anyone on campus." It's like they really believe in Jedi Mind Tricks.

It really is. I hope she will get the help she needs sooner or later!!

She just tweeted this: :(

I read a blind item years ago that alleged something to this effect (don't ask me for a source, it was like 2010 or some shit).

That's it everyone. 4chan's closed due to AIDS and stingrays that also have AIDS.

Oh. My. God. This is why we ended up moving. Neighbour to the left had a guy break in when he was home. Neighbour to the right was stabbed by an intruder. Neighbour behind us was shot and killed (although he was a gang member). I swear it was only our mean-sounding/looking dog that spared us. And with your daughter…

Yep, throw the accountants and lawyers under the bus. After all, we happily risk our licenses to fawn over these disgusting greedheads. "I signed the plea agreement, but I didn't think you meant it!" Entitled twats.

It is a "safe" bad insult. No sane person likes Nazi's. So you can throw that around without offending anyone except the person/group/gender/etc. you are trying too insult. Nazi also have that quality of having an extreme viewpoint (which the group you are arguing with probably thinks of your opinion, since it…

Seriously. I love the whole "I wish the accountant would have just come to the house and filled out everything" bullshit. Uhm, yeah, that's not his job.