business in the front, party in the back...1813 style.

not enough saloons.

Thats disgusting.

I would call her more of a "stalker" than a "date."

"She seemed totally cool—until the first flag was her actually being on my roof two weeks ago"

Chimneys are not people doors. Birds and bats, and sometimes cats, but not people.

So, I saw this headline this morning, and it was in Thousand Oaks where I grew up. Not gonna lie, I clicked it just to make sure it wasn't my stepmother.

chick you ain't santa. stand down.

I went to graduate school with a woman who lived on tribal land. She told some stories that would shock you. The elders there have their own sets of laws that are not publicized. It's pretty scary stuff.

:(

Not even a little foot rest to bring your knees up? Comon, try it...all the cool kids are doing it!

My misandrist heart just grew three sizes. And also, I'm not squatting when I poop. It feels weird, stop trying to sell me on that. :/

My favourite is to ask them if they've adopted as many unwanted, neglected and abandoned already-existing-actually-living-genuinely-in-need-of-protection-and-love children as their financial means will allow...

They tend not to reply...

I've done this a few times before (no, never on a car), it's actually quite easy and doesn't require any particularly exotic, or controlled chemicals.

Counterpoint: I have been expressly told by my doctor that I should, on no account, breastfeed any children I may have because I have insane allergies and those antibodies should not be shared.

Seriously, this article is the equivalent of an obnoxious commenter saying, "I can't believe Jezebel is posting about nail polish when people are dying in ___ right now."

Yeah, I feel the same way. Like, I love Tina Fey, but her book would look pretty stupid in this chart. I don't think Bristol Palin needs to be protected or whatever, but this seems kind of spiteful.

But unlike Bristol, you didn't write and publish a memoir.

this article just seems kinda mean. I wouldn't want to be compared to Malala either.