I eloped. Between the license, dress, flowers, disposable cameras, and taking our MOH and Best Man out to a nice dinner, the cost was $200 tops.

Like I said earlier, we do that with our late-stage dementia patients. It makes them feel happy and secure.

4-5 years are the cutest time?

My favorite road-rage words are douchecanoe and motherfucker. If that offends vaginal cleansers that ride rafts or Oedipus Rex, I apologize.

Apparently babies secrete oxytocin pheremones from their fontanelle. Sniffing a baby's head causes a massive release of oxytocin, which leads to a calm feeling.

Yeah, we sometimes give baby dolls to our patients with late-stage Dementia. It gives them a sense of love and purpose.

In my 12th grade AP European history class, my teacher had us grade the 10th grade AP World History map tests (where they were given a blank map and had to name countries, oceans, rivers, etc.). I don't expect anyone to get everything perfectly (Lord knows I couldn't when I was 15) but one kid labelled the Amazon as…

I used them when my oldest was little and we were traveling. He didn't walk - he ran at full speed. If he ran away from me at Grand Central Station, there is a good chance I wouldn't find him.

Exactly. My youngest will be 2 in July and our pediatrician told us to delay potty training until he is at least 3. The reason? He is very short (25th percentile for height and weight), and unless we want to carry a portable potty everywhere we go, he won't be able to use regular toilets.

There is always the chance to double up too. The Mister and I have two kids, and aren't planning for anymore. We're 26 and 29 though, and this means that we have many, many years of fertility left - realistically, even if I continued my regular contraception, it might fail and we might have another kid. I already…

A couple of my friends have had the luxury of their parents financing them while they lived at home post-college, and some of them have saved up to put a down payment on a very nice home (some upwards of $350k). It's concerning though, because everything is really dependent on their current job. If they lose their…

In South Carolina, if you are a practicing lawyer under the SC Bar, you have to do a certain number of public defense cases every few years. It's like jury duty for lawyers. If you refuse to do them, you lose your ability to practice law.

Fuck that noise. Ketchup doesn't have feelings. You can hate on ketchup all you want, sister. I'll be there right alongside you.

Yeah, in hindsight it wasn't a big surprise. She would eat the pizza the cafeteria served (which is on par with Stouffer's French Bread Pizza, at its absolute best) but she wouldn't eat pizza at authentic Italian places because it was "too spicy".

My parents intimidated the shit out of me. They believed that fear and shame were powerful motivators. My mom was fly-off-the handle crazy (still is) and my dad was cold and calculated. If you ask them though, they cannot for the life of them understand how they created a neurotic, anxious daughter who no longer…

I think because some cultures used to shame menstruation. My Croatian-American grandmother remembers having to hide her bloody rags in the backyard because being able to bear children was seen as a liability. She was slapped across the face when her mother found out.

I think it depends on where you fall on the scale. I got my period in sixth grade, which was pretty normal. I didn't see it as a big deal. My friend, however, didn't get her period until she was 15 and even then it was irregular until her doctor prescribed her birth control at 18.

I should add, ex-girlfriend is from Kansas.

Slight aside from the story, a lot of people in the Midwest think ketchup = tomato sauce. My husband's ex offered to make a pizza for a bunch of us one night (we're all from NY). She's a pretty good baker, so we thought it would be fine. It was going okay until she whipped out a pre-baked pizza crust and squirted an…

Like I said if you are beating your kid's ass red, as you suggested, you're doing it out of anger.