Believe it or not, Animal Control is not that helpful. Our cable guy SWORE he saw a copperhead in the corner of our storage area. We called animal control and they told us that they don't deal with poisonous animals. We called the police and they told us to call animal control. Finally, my landlord called a private…

I usually didn't mind mice growing up, because they would come inside and sleep inside our shoes during the cold winter nights, and hey - it is really damn cute to see a teeny tiny field mouse sleeping in your UGGs.

Or the ones at Charlotte Russe that have hair but NO FACES? Not okay!

There's a lid for every pot. I'm naturally thin so my ribs always show. Even when I was massively hugely pregnant, my ribs still protruded. I don't mind and my husband doesn't mind, so that's all that matters to me.

Eh, skulls don't bother me. One time, though, I was on a remote beach and found an intact spinal column with no other bones nearby. Nope nope nope. Got back into the Jeep and towards civilization as fast as possible.

Your comment just got me thinking. One of the truther sites had a thing about how Sandy Hook was started as a hoax to legislate gun control, and that the reason there are so many gun control laws geared against the mentally ill is because the government is going to take "undesirables", label them as mentally ill, take…

Yeah, I <3 Marie Antoinette for all her misguidedness but I hate when people think the reason she had the hameau was something vitriolic. And at least she got something productive (milking cows and harvesting eggs) out of it.

Sometime sex positive crosses the line into bad taste. There's an S&M club on Long Island that does "theme parties". Despite the fact that I no longer live on Long Island, I got an invitation to their one in February. The theme? "Masters and slaves in the Old South".

Go for your mom. I grew up (sadly not too long ago) in a house where pantyhose were considered a "must" for formal events. One of my classmates had a tizzy because I wore black pantyhose to church and it "turned him on". He felt like recalling this story during math class the next Monday, and luckily my (male) teacher…

I have two sons who are very young, but I constantly get "at least you never have to worry about them getting knocked up". My husband seethes anytime he hears this. He's like "if they get a girl pregnant, it WILL be their concern and it WILL be their responsibility".

Story of my life. I was never as happy as I was when long t-shirts came into fashion.

Once I saw a Cosmo sex tip that advised putting Tabasco on your man's bits. ProTip: unless you are a dominatrix or you have discussed this beforehand, do not put Tabasco on one's penis.

I find this hysterical. I got a kidney infection when I was a kiddo, so my doctor made sure my parents cut out the Mr. Bubble crap and made sure that I knew how to take care of my vagina. Years later, after I had a child, I went for a post-partum checkup. The doctor gave one of their standard brochures that said…

Gross story (so stop reading if you're squeamish): A girl I knew put peanut butter up her vagina for her boyfriend to eat out. Unfortunately she really went to town and stuck it all the way up into her cervical area. Even then, it might have been okay if she douched or did something, but nope she let it fester.…

I thought that only happened when you said her name three times and spun around at midnight.

My son got a CD of Nursery Rhymes. Some were pretty cool since they dated back to the 18th century (i.e. "Tom, Tom the Piper's Son"), but they included Simple Simon. I was like, "how the Hell do they not realize how offensive this song is?"

No, but a lot of them are gritty. "Darlin' Clementine" is about a man who falls in love with a miner's daughter, she slips and falls and dies, so he dates her little sister instead.

Growing up in Westchester, I knew plenty of people who wouldn't drive the aforementioned cars because of their history of anti-semitism.

I find it's good to find people in a similar situation. When I first tried talking to my friends (all of whom have good-to-great relationships with their moms), people kind of assumed that I was at fault. It doesn't help that my family was prominent in my town, so my departure allowed them to tell "their"version of…

Elope! It's that simple :)