Can I share a story, because your story has me all up in my feelings? So when slavery was abolished in the British Empire, slave owners in the Caribbean were paid compensation for the loss of their former property. It recently became possible to search these compensation records online, by searching for slave owners…

ambulatory merkin was a personal fave.

I somehow want these to be made into an advent calendar.

• An ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back

I remember being 12 and one of my 3rd cousins (older) had just come back from a very meaningful mission. He said “Lord, God” so many times that about 3 minutes in I decided (at the age of 12) that I should start a tally. I think I got to 50 and then lost count because I needed to get mom’s attention to tell her “He…

At least your folks keep it real. The sorry ass motherfuckers in my family like to talk that christian shit but they don’t back it up. Most of them will tell anybody willing to listen how they are “saved”, but very few even go to church and those that do are real stingy when the collection plate comes around. When I…

Someone just watched Airplane!

But Ellie and Joanna are hot, “vaguely-semitic”, funny-as-hell women. This is how I pictured them as I read it:

No, you’re fine. You need a buddy, though! What are you doing Saturday?

You could have swapped in the prayer from “The Purge” and no one wold have been the wiser.

Allah Want For Christmas, Is Youuuuuuu

Shariah: The mashup vocal stylings of Shakira and Mariah. Now on sale for Christmas Infidel Holiday.

UBaby. Just like child of “umami.”

Best show in the world that no one has ever watched.

Well done, ladies. You’re doing the atheist, liberal, pinko commie, gun-control-believing, pro-choice-having, Obamacare-voting Lord’s work.

Little did you know the entire room was just filled with undercover bloggers with made-up personas trying to infiltrate the event.

Nice point toots. Speaking of nice points-is that sweater new?

YES. And I just fell down the rabbit hole of googling “fun hijabs”. Will report back soon.

You guys...Lindy is joking. The hyperbole is for the sake of comedy. You're still allowed to like the trash that is Love Actually. You needn't sharpen the pitchforks against the lady who just brought cock bloctopus into to Lexicon. That would be wrong.

This map might help, although I'm not sure how accurate it is. Looks like they're just friends? I thought she was his late wife's sister this whole time.