likes to?

BRB looking for casting calls for my dumpster cat who likes to wear costumes…

The real reason Jeb! lost

“to reduce the risk of potentially catastrophic personal and professional consequences that could befall them and their families.”

You’ve confirmed my fears about these “documentaries” people say they watch on Netflix. Because geez everyone knows Jackie was behind it all along.

Dolly Parton

Ah... to be an ignorant teen again

Wait, you’re the guy promising to run people over in the middle of the road, and now you’re worried about people jaywalking? Your law-and-order platform seems inconsistent.

Glad your sidewalks are completely level. And like I said, I get out of the street when cars come, which means my running affects nor inconveniences anyone.

I wish - they always insist on me coming in just to make sure it’s not bacterial... even when I’m like, listen it smells like a goddamn wonder bread factory down there....

I’m sorry that she had to go through all of that surgery and trauma and have it all fail because of something so seemingly minor.

Coming here to say this. There is no way he goes down.

He’s a Christian man who normally doesn’t discuss such gross things, but he is hands-down the best oral lover God has ever created. He has zero problem in that department, believe me. Obama has done a terrible job, totally disgraceful.

The continued referring to her son as “MY son” not, “THEIR son.” ......

Wet’n’Wild: T-rex aqua-turquoise special edition.

I fully believe in smuggling illicit alcohol to the elderly.

Surely you can smuggle some in? The nursing home my mom used to volunteer at had this bullshit no booze policy, and all one of the ladies (in her 90s, no family around) there wanted for Christmas was a nice bottle of red wine. You can bet we made that happen for her.

EJ is fab and no longer large, except in name and style.

Best kind of soothing there is