I’m pretty sure this is legally an assault.

Breaking a raw egg with one hand is simple and you can learn to do it on your own. Hold it in your palm with the long side running from thumb to pinky and rap it sharply in the center against the edge of a heavy bowl or a pan. You need to rap it in one spot to concentrate the impact there, which is why it doesn’t…

It’s primal mating and presenting behavior, just like dick pics. Evolved beings understand that it’s primitive and unsuccessful. People following their reptile minds don’t understand that.

Cracking a raw egg sharply and crisply with one hand is not hard, just takes a little practice. You need to crack it quickly in the center against an edge, like a heavy bowl or the right angle at the top of the sink, so the impact is concentrated in one area of the shell and not over a large area. It’s about the most…

There are 300+ million people in this country, and undoubtedly hundreds of thousands of Penn State fans. Penn State itself resides in a corner of Pennsyltucky that is as red as that letter writer’s ass, so it is completely unsurprising to me that at least one of those yahoos would write something so profoundly unaware…

W.C. Fields said, “Never bet on anything that talks.” Apparently he should have made it “never bet on anything,” period.

Went to tushy.com. Enjoyed myself immensely.

This day game is the first game of the rest of your life.

This helped make me want to move to San Francisco, which I did three years later. But it also helped clarify for me how much television casting is about very specific roles. Leading man, leading woman (both preferably white), POC sidekicks, doofus, slutty chick, etc. And then there was Puck, the Frank Burns/Dr.…

Daryl Hannah might be decades in the rear-view mirror but definitely belongs on this list.

Everyone loves MLK today and thinks he’s the bee’s knees. They sure didn’t in “real time.”

Ray’s.

Yeah, nobody giving him a tongue bath right now.

The conclusion on that story was better than the opening. Like relationships, writing is often more easily begun than wrapped up.

Good thing Ron Kulpa doesn’t carry a badge.

“If I told you I had a cure for AIDS, would you believe me?” Maybe.

“The absolute hatred by some of you towards this guy is so sick and sad”

It’s so much simpler than all this, people. No one wants to get cut out of that will.

The worst day of the year is any day that SantaCon is happening here in San Francisco. I used to call it SantaConformism with all the red suits, but as it turns out these nonconformists are worse.

Those kids are all lanolin right on their faces, but they ain’t shrinking from the challenge.