The real answer to your question is “who gives a rat’s ass?”

Don’t bother arguing with this person. They really have no idea what they’re talking about.

Listen, you messed up. Your take was bad. Just admit it.

Holy crap is Chuck Wendig a terrible writer.

Scrooged!

Someone’s a sloppy chocolate eater.

I’m probably in the minority, but I hate those headlights.

Counterpoint: platypuses are dead sexy.

It’s the Laser Pointer Update.

The readers of Kotaku care more about what Mike Fahey eats than ethics, or the history of board games, or anything, really.

This guy obviously has very deep personal demons and should not be a coach for any sort of young people.

Pamper your asshole. Don’t fuck around with garbage TP. Life is too short.

Listen, do not fuck around with cheap toilet paper. At my house, I only buy the best, and 3 squares folded does fantastic and feels nice and soft.

Oh, Mola Rom, you stole my heart!

“Boom!”

My boss says this all the fucking time, unironically. Because he’s my boss, I can’t punch him, and it makes my skin fucking crawl.

Or, just you.

“GIMME FUEL GIMME TIRES”

Aww yeah that bursting blue is legit. Honestly I don’t care about a manual in a modern, large luxury wagon. Small sports car? Yeah, manual all day. Large luxury car? Meh.

This is now officially the worst football season of all time.