SAME. It’s so weird to me how many parents make their children touch me! I try to offer high fives instead, but sometimes parents really insist.

That is awesome! I want to model consent for all of my nieces and nephews (and still, as an adult woman, often have found myself in situations where I am forced to hug people I don’t want to hug, so I feel them), so I always say “hug, handshake, or high five?”

I always ask my nieces (once they’re old enough) before hugs and kisses.

When my in-laws have tried to make my nephew kiss me he’s been clearly uncomfortable (and I’ve been uncomfortable at this, too - I just hide it better than my little nephew), I’ve offered him high-fives and you could see his whole body relax and he breaks into a smile and gives the most enthusiastic high-fives. It’s…

The rule in our house is that you don’t have to hug or kiss anyone if you don’t want to. However, we do expect our kid to greet people politely (“Hi, Auntie Kate, I’m glad to see you, do you know my friend Lily?”). Other than that, if she hugs or not is up to her.

I notice that now she looks to me for cues for how she…

We’ve had this rule since before my son was born, and we informed everyone we could think of.

Speaking from the single adult perspective, many of us wish the hell you would not even ask if they want to hug us.

I don’t think that’s overboard at all. I have a 5 1/2 year old daughter and I’m a guy. I’m trying to teach her that if she doesn’t want me (or anyone) to touch her then all she has to do is say so. I tell her it’s her body and no one should touch her if she doesn’t want them too. And sometimes she doesn’t want a…

I’ve been trying to impress upon people how wrong this is for years. It goes against everything we try to teach them as far as avoiding predators. We tell them that if someone touches them in a way that makes them uncomfortable, that they should say somthing or tell someone - then we force them to be affectionate to…

I was listening to a segment on NPR the other day that included a panel of domestic violence counselors and one of the women said that she teaches her daughters autonomy of their own bodies even now at a young age by telling them they don’t have to hug or kiss anybody they don’t want to - including relatives.

This is something that I didn’t really think about until the conversations surrounding Trump and being touched involuntarily. It really brought back memories of being a child and being coerced into hugging or allowing someone to kiss me against my wishes. I absolutely HATED being touched by anyone who wasn’t my dad,…

I back up, wave, and say “Hi, how are you?” Or I straight up say I’m not a hugger. Hugging is for people I care about, not for someone I just met. I don’t care if it offends a friend of a friend of a friend.

I usually take a step back and say, “I’m not really a hug person,” or, “I’m more of a handshake person,” and stick out my hand. It felt weird at first, transitioning to handshakes, but I’ve gotten used to it through my professional life, and have even learned that there are more intimate handshakes, like when I’m…

How about “Oh, I’m not a hugger! More of a handshaker.” I guess you could kind of put your hands up to stop the hug, then stick your hand out to shake hands. And say it with a smile?

My daughter used to want to hug ANYONE AND EVERYONE, especially men. So, one day, one of her uncles was over (this was relayed to me by her stepmother), and brought a friend, and my kid wanted absolutely nothing to do with this dude, and on top of that, gathered the smaller children (she was like.. five? six?) and…

I wish my parents asked me about this growing up. I was so shy and I HATED having to hug people I didn’t know or weren’t comfortable with. Now that my friends are having kids I let my friends know that their kids don’t need to hug me if they don’t want to. When my best friend’s oldest daughter started walking she…

Whenever friends/cousins are like, “Give auntie Sofar a hug/kiss,” I’m always immediately like, “Or .... should we high five?” Usually the kids are thrilled to high five. And then sometimes they’ll throw their tiny arms around me, too, which is fine.

Came here to ask this same question. As an adult I still haven’t learned how to disengage gracefully from the expected hugging, and get anxious enough about the expectation of hugs that I just give in and feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. I’d love ideas on how to establish hug boundaries without hurting…

That is so awesome.

But what do you do if someone goes in for the hug first? I am curious how you all handle this situation. As someone who does not particularly like to hug anyone but very close friends/family, I run into this situation quite often. Sticking out a hand for a hand shake seems so cold...I dunno, I normally accept the hug…