You’re being very cynical, when you should really try to be a little more Finnical

I find myself in the unique positions of both being a man who’s had over 30 cavities and who is currently a beer/bourbon enthusiast. Here’s my expert take on this subject.

A rotisserie chicken can give you a variety of meals throughout the week be eaten in its entirety, in your underwear, while you’re leaning over the sink.

Look, as an old, I need to ensure that the onion on my belt does not hang longer than the hem of my short pants, and thusly my short pants just meet my knee, as a belt onion is harder to come by than are short pants. 

“It’s a hamburger, made of out meat, on a bun, with nothing, add ketchup if you want, I could care less” -Ron Swanson

Your clothes are red!