I need everything in the second photo immediately. The last photo looks like Aunt Sandy got good and sloshed before filming her Easter episode, and now I want to get drunk in that room.

I wanna smack that headband of Joe Jonas’s head.

Mr. Naked got to run a grouptext while I was having surgery, and there is not enough booze in the world to thank him. I do not know how he didn’t yell at everyone to quit asking questions every 20 minutes.

Probably diving rods? Like those weighted rods my mom used to throw in the pool to keep us kids busy. I think swimmers use them to practice their entrance dives, or it could just be an endurance challenge.

Makes it easier to know who to throw eggs at.

It’s only a problem if you also have the scarf.

Oh, sweetheart, I hope you are doing better and have received real care that has helped.

Fantastic response, though I roll my eyes at the writer reminding us Holly was a Hooters waitress. Thanks, writer. Great way to really show you haven’t moved on.

Digital comics came in just as I moved across the country from my very loved comic shop. I have rarely stepped into a brick and mortar store since. It’s the best.

Oh, man, I worked at a comic shop with a good comics guy but some seriously shitty customers. I had one dude who asked what I read, looked horrified at some of the stuff I mentioned, and refused to talk to me if the comics dude was there. I got back at him one night when he came in with his girlfriend and informed her…

I don’t know how I got so lucky, but the Gamestop my husband goes to has super cool male employees. Like, saw me in my Iron man t-shirt and asked if I was Rescue cool. I will give them my money forever.

Everybody to my place for a “not ever having kids tied my tubes in a square knot” party! We’re drinking clear liquor!

Just looked up the recipe. It was 3/4ths to a cup of vodka. Chef’s choice. We probably stayed with 3/4ths because it was our first time making it, but that’s, what, six shots?

Story time: The first time my husband decided to make vodka sauce, he used Drummond’s recipe (this was when she still just had the blog). We made a big mistake in using cheap vodka, and I will take the blame for that, but we cooked it EXACTLY to her specs and ended up drunk on vodka sauce. I don’t know if cheaper…

She did send flowers, which is a good way to send goodwill without having to worry about the details. I think it’s sweet Ray made sure Roy got a wine she was more likely to drink.

Throwing my name next to yours because same.

That’s a total bummer. Reminds me of how Dr. Oz sold himself out the same way.

My MIL gave my now-husband a piece of advice similar to this while he and I were dating: “The little things that annoy you now don’t go away, and they become a bigger problem.” Having someone say it made a huge difference in being able to talk about it because “I can’t stand the sound of you clipping your toenails”…

Including a sculpture a cleaning woman threw away because she assumed it was garbage. Kind of like what they did here.

If my chiro ever advocated any of this, I’d be hightailing it out of there so fast there’d be smoke behind me. Instead, we go by the tried and true bodywork method of “it hurts because it’s tight. Stretch like this. It’s weak because it’s underworked. Strengthen like this.”