I’m not saying my focus on size is unhealthy. I feel fucking awesome. But it does feel a little disordered.

Size is one of my fitness goals and I do think there is some kind of disorder involved. If you live in San Diego you can see it manifest and transmit everywhere you go. The parents at random little league games around town look more or less like marine squads. I run marathons and ride centuries and that makes me a…

Instead of this vacant-eyed clothes horse why not commit to a meaningful relationship with an actual mannequin?

In-DEEEEEEE! BumdabumBUM, Bumdabum, BumdabbumBUM, BumbadumdumDUM!

I don’t understand why it’s hard for women to find men at all. Join a club with men and women. Go to the club. Enjoy yourself. The end.

Beta blockers. Beta blockers. Beta blockers.

How can you even notice the shirt behind those inhuman thumbs?

Wait, I saw this little varmint on that zombie show! He sucked!

I hate to get all controversial and stuff but I thought Prometheus was just okay while not good.

My mother? Let me tell you about my mother.

You can now watch Amazon Instant content on Android, which was the reason we got one. The phone is not good.

You can now watch Amazon Instant content on Android, which was the reason we got one. The phone is not good.

We actually had to contact support to straighten out our added Prime. Basically we kept getting warnings saying Prime is expiring! Prime is expiring! even though we had the extension from the phone. It’s a little tricky if you extend an existing membership but it did workout fine once we contacted Amazon.

We actually had to contact support to straighten out our added Prime. Basically we kept getting warnings saying…

Also he just got brutally stabbed by a Segway. Jesus that looked bad.

I believe @Unicorn_Jelly helped me regenerate mana after a vorpal sword blast! :-) #PretendThings #NoLessAbsurd

Who said he must be illiterate? Deadspin? Not in this post. The follow-up tweet was pretty clever.

The great news is that July’s impending space alien invasion was forestalled. Said aliens arrived at the predetermined staging location in the Oort only to find during final scans that Sol-e was “unexpectedly and rapidly becoming inhospitable to most life forms.” The fleet snagged a few comets and immediately altered…

The cat isn’t in that movie.

This is bad for Carolina, and bad for Carolina’s fans, but who cares about any of them: this is bad for the thousands of fantasy football players who wasted a high pick on Benjamin because their drafts have inexplicably been held already.

This is bad for Carolina, and bad for Carolina’s fans, but who cares about any of them: this is bad for the thousands of fantasy football players who wasted a high pick on Benjamin because their drafts have inexplicably been held already.

Who do you mean, “his people.” You mean white people?