This is a good theory that needs more examination.

Frogger: He's Back!

please seconded

"gluten free idiots" is my speciality. I will happily lend my 4 years worth of bakery experience to this category. Keep me posted.

peak trainwreck

Oh god so much Yes to the quiet joy of being able to tell someone "No". Some of my favorite days at work are the ones following the cutoff for special thanksgiving and Christmas order. Oh, you think we should be able to churn out a time consuming and costly Buche de Noel that 10+ people had the mind to order a week…

omg never sign me up.

Can I be both you and your mother's BFF?

The guy I lost my virginity to got his current job while on a golf trip with prospective employers when he was still in college. He got the job by peeing on his now boss. This man has a career while I work FOH at a bakery. FFS

Honestly, spit is about the least creative mode of retribution. It can easily go unnoticed by patrons or easily get the perpetrator in trouble. It's the super subtle emotional and verbal digs that really hold weight. If I can make someone feel like an asshole without any quotable leg to stand on I have done my…

that is so fucked.

oh I had one of those at my first restaurant job! It's a pretty telling sign when a GM locks the door to the office.

Oof.

#schooled.

spring awakening would be badasssss and Lea Michelle would probably die happy. Also, I haven't had any chance to flex my theatre muscle in years but it's called a "thrust" stage. Most appropriate for Spring Awakening.

The verbal "ughh" was too strong to resist.

that cat is drugged.

It's because you are obviously in the wrong.

It tastes like someone threw a rusty old boot into my cocktail.

I've seriously got an ingrown hair 10x gnarlier than that right now.