I will teach everyone to play pinochle.

I hate everyone. Except the beer guy at the rat-themed park.

I just can’t get past how very, very much this kitten needs to come live at my house.

Austin Powers 3:

I think it’s closer to “Lady Bountiful”.

Shut your mouth re pickled herring, the food of the gods!

My brother taught driver’s ed in the 70’s. He had as students a couple of brothers that had recently immigrated as refugees from China or Vietnam — anyway someplace where they hadn’t had an opportunity to ever drive a car or even really to ride in one. They also spoke very poor English. They were named Ernest and…

The best I could do was to keep a written log of every transaction personally, but if I forgot something or made a math error, I was screwed.

Much like my attempt to play a PC video game (Mass Effect 3), I am completely stymied at the outside by this show’s flashback (?) structure. In Mass Effect, I couldn’t even figure out how to WALK FORWARD. With this show, is it that the people in the fantasy world are having adventures which are being expressed in the…

Style D all the way. Holy shit, I just realized that’s been on my wall for almost forty years.

If the Mustang wanted to exit, he probably shouldn’t have been in the furthest-left lane (but for the HOV) when it was coming up so quickly. He was assuming he could get around the slower truck to his right, ahead of everyone, and get all the way over and exit — a maneuver every one of us has performed (well, I have).…

Dude, Paul was RIGHT THERE.

That’s like the time in Oregon, when the guy at the gas station informed me I couldn’t pump my own gas. I probably rolled my eyes, and he lectured me about the danger of gas pump hoses going wild! Spraying gas everywhere in a very dangerous fashion! Which clearly happens on a daily basis in the other states.

It’s part of a larger problem, people not being able to see past their own assholes. At my company there are a few charger stations in the multi-story garage, well-marked and managed. There are also parking spots close by electrical outlets that some electric cars connect to, NOT marked. But anyone with eyes can see…

I don’t know what it is, but it’s DEFINITELY going to be on the table come Halloween. Trapped olive-eyeballs and disembodied tomato-lips and all.

Mine has front and back capability, and I think I paid about $100.

That happened to me too, a 17 year old driving alone in metro San Diego hundreds of miles from her rural home plowed right into me at a red light I’d been sitting at for at least a minute. And then my (former) insurance company gave me grief, saying the cause of the accident was “ambiguous”. Now I have a dash cam and…

I like a whole poached egg, or fried egg, but if I’m eating an omelette or scramble, I don’t like the taste of the yolk in there. It’s like — yolk good, white good — but yolk mixed with white bad. Weird, I know.

I want “munch” to be in this list.