Who’s that supposed to be on the far right? Cousin Oliver?

I lived in an apartment where the guy next door was learning the piano. I give him full credit for actually doing that “practice every day” thing they tell you to do. Unfortunately that meant that twice a day, for about 40 minutes each, I was treated to the sound of him playing the same beginning piano piece, making…

It didn’t register as strange until the man stopped near the entrance and began relieving himself in the bushes outside.

So much exciting modern druggie lingo: blazing, buttchugging, chocking, doobie, DOOBIEZ, , Reefer, spliff, donuts, Austin. In MY day, we called it dope! That’s the way it was and we LIKED it! Flobble-de-flee!

I read a study once on the topic. What you need to do in order to get truly clean is to soak long enough your skin ... undergoes some kind of transformation, I forget how it was described. Pores open up, or something, dirt comes out. In a shower, that doesn’t happen because it’s not soaking wet for long enough.…

What are these “police” who come to accidents you speak of? Seriously, one showed up, confirmed no one was injured, took off. Luckily, a woman also stopped at the intersection came up to me and handed me her card, said she’d seen the whole thing, and was happy to talk to whoever. She was with the Girl Scouts! Is there…

I was stopped at a red light (I’d been stopped for at least 20 seconds) and got rear-ended by a 17 year old. My insurance company said fault was “unclear”. They’re no longer my insurance company.

Alexa (Amazon Echo) says, “undefined”.

Someday one of these “open carry” idiots is going to run into a “stand your ground” idiot in some innocent-bystander location. Hopefully they’ll be the only casualties, but I’m not optimistic on that front. To quote Professor Farnsworth, “perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything!’

WELL worth it.

You sound fun.

Whew, mostly assholes and Scientologists. But I repeat myself....

Fly Southwest. Buy an extra “person of size” ticket online. Enjoy your two seats! Then after the flight the cost for the second seat is refunded. You also get priority boarding. They aren’t going to check you over at the airport, say — hey waitaminute — your ass would fit in ONE SEAT!! Who knows how long this loophole…

It is now crucial that as a country we protect religious freedom and the right of conscience and also not discriminate.

Hee, yes, Ryan. (James May also pushes an adjacent button.)

I know this is a wrong opinion, but...I find him very sexy. Would do.

Idiot Boy will leap four feet into the air if I scrape my foot while I’m walking and make a little noise. Even if he sees me doing it.

The Salted Pepper Wings at Mandarin Canton in Chula Vista are the MOST delicious things on this earth. In fact, next week I’m planning on making the round trip down there for them, despite the fact that it is pretty much an ALL DAY undertaking. Literally all day. They’re that good.

I just finished reading “Live From New York: The Complete, Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live as Told by Its Stars, Writers, and Guests” and the four things I took away: (1) there is powerfully mixed opinion re Lorne Michaels; (2) Norm McDonald genuinely did not care in the least if anyone else, in the…

Oh geez, I’m sure I have that record. Off to listen.