I know this is a wrong opinion, but...I find him very sexy. Would do.

Idiot Boy will leap four feet into the air if I scrape my foot while I’m walking and make a little noise. Even if he sees me doing it.

The Salted Pepper Wings at Mandarin Canton in Chula Vista are the MOST delicious things on this earth. In fact, next week I’m planning on making the round trip down there for them, despite the fact that it is pretty much an ALL DAY undertaking. Literally all day. They’re that good.

I just finished reading “Live From New York: The Complete, Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live as Told by Its Stars, Writers, and Guests” and the four things I took away: (1) there is powerfully mixed opinion re Lorne Michaels; (2) Norm McDonald genuinely did not care in the least if anyone else, in the…

Oh geez, I’m sure I have that record. Off to listen.

Probably 30+ years ago, bus from Hartford to NY, some kid with a Walkman (or whatever it would have been in that era) singing along to a song on replay (that no one else could hear, of course) “If I’m not your lover, if I’m not your friend-end, tell me who I am-am?” for HOURS. That song still haunts me, and I have no…

I will. Thanks!

I will check and try again. I kind of have the palate of a nine year old, I can’t eat cilantro and I think vanilla is the best flavor...but I do like yogurt, and not the supersweet kind. There used to be really good plain (and vanilla) options, but in later years I haven’t found a brand I really like. All too sweet!…

I only ever tried it once, Fage, which I’ve heard is supposedly one of the better ones? I was aghast at how horrible it tasted.

No worries, I didn’t realize. Durr. Thanks for all the laughs!

I made Behind Closed Ovens! Big Day! But...that asshole former brother in law belonged to me, not “Dana Torrance”, whoever that is.

I took my young niece to a Thompsons Twins concert, because the opener was a just starting out and barely-known Chris Isaac. He was pretty much booed off the stage, but after he was done I went out and sat in the lobby. A guy working the venue kept coming around and asking, didn’t I want to watch the headliner? NOPE.…

And she wore a potato sack, apparently. (I’m not a fashion guy.)

Well, it took a while, but Jack Donaghy’s plan to tank NBC has finally come through.

Pickled herring. Dang. That stuff is delicious...but isn’t a great fragrance.

“Munch” is also a terrible, terrible word.

I was an awesome speller in grade school and won my class two years in a row, went on to the school championship. Went out both years on “foreign”. I BEFORE E, except after C etc. I still think Mr. Houser, that dickbag, gave it to me the second year on purpose.

My alcoholic brother-in-law came home late one night from the bar, completely shit-faced, was hungry and made himself a tuna sandwich. Took a bite and didn’t like it, left it on the counter and went to bed. My sister found it in the morning. I know what you’re thinking — you’re thinking, he mistook cat food for tuna.…

MTA’s plan to eliminate garbage by eliminating garbage cans

RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! My mom said she got tired of me whining when she’d comb the snarls out of my hair. I’m sure I was a terrible whiner, but on the other hand I was the youngest of seven and she was pretty much done dealing with kids by the time I came along, in many ways.