No worries, I didn’t realize. Durr. Thanks for all the laughs!

I made Behind Closed Ovens! Big Day! But...that asshole former brother in law belonged to me, not “Dana Torrance”, whoever that is.

I took my young niece to a Thompsons Twins concert, because the opener was a just starting out and barely-known Chris Isaac. He was pretty much booed off the stage, but after he was done I went out and sat in the lobby. A guy working the venue kept coming around and asking, didn’t I want to watch the headliner? NOPE.…

And she wore a potato sack, apparently. (I’m not a fashion guy.)

Well, it took a while, but Jack Donaghy’s plan to tank NBC has finally come through.

Pickled herring. Dang. That stuff is delicious...but isn’t a great fragrance.

“Munch” is also a terrible, terrible word.

I was an awesome speller in grade school and won my class two years in a row, went on to the school championship. Went out both years on “foreign”. I BEFORE E, except after C etc. I still think Mr. Houser, that dickbag, gave it to me the second year on purpose.

My alcoholic brother-in-law came home late one night from the bar, completely shit-faced, was hungry and made himself a tuna sandwich. Took a bite and didn’t like it, left it on the counter and went to bed. My sister found it in the morning. I know what you’re thinking — you’re thinking, he mistook cat food for tuna.…

MTA’s plan to eliminate garbage by eliminating garbage cans

RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE! My mom said she got tired of me whining when she’d comb the snarls out of my hair. I’m sure I was a terrible whiner, but on the other hand I was the youngest of seven and she was pretty much done dealing with kids by the time I came along, in many ways.

When I was a little kid my mom took me to the beauty school for a “pixie” — which was supposed to be the Winona cut, basically. (Of course this was the 60’s so the “pixie” predates Winona’s existence on this earth.) Pictures confirm it was just a crew cut. Still haven’t forgiven her.

I’d been with my current place eleven years (in two different cities) and it was time to move on for reasons (they actually closed shop a couple of years later, after 115+ years), but I wasn’t quite ready, and I hadn’t interviewed in many years so I decided to get some practice in with a big company in the same…

That’s exactly my experience of the Vega — my ex, an excellent mechanic, inexplicably loved this car. LOVED IT. Back in the day (early- to mid-80’s) he’d find them trashed/non-running, buy them for $350, put $350 into them...and sell them for $350.

Statistics. My brain just does not work that way. The instructor was a graduate student and not really a teacher (very common in undergrad), and could not help me “get it”. I dropped the class the last day I could, figured I’d take it after I’d completed everything else. Then I got the genius idea to take it in the…

My brother, when he was a little kid, would literally only eat things that were brown. White-edging-toward-brown would sometimes be acceptable.

My mom grew up on a farm in Kansas in the 1920s, so she had a really different attitude about pets than the rest of us. My dad loved all cats and dogs, and so did all of us kids, and we did things that drove her crazy like let them on the furniture or on the bed. In my mom’s opinion, cats should really be mostly…

My mom wasn’t a “bad”, “abusive” parent, and I have some real empathy for the situation she was in, but on the other hand she messed me up good, and it’s best for me that I limit my interaction with her. At this point she’s on the road to dementia so there’s really no point trying to get “closure”. I don’t bring up…

A while ago I was channel flipping and came across some college gymnastic things — stopped long enough to screengrab the names of the girls on the team: Dallas, Kayla, Elideth, Cayla, Kalley, Kalliah. I’m basically desperate for a Susan or a Nancy, or a Michael or a Steve.

9. Please don’t be late. We work on a schedule that is to the half hour or even 15 minutes.