I accept your statement but the mind, it blows. So the mom asks the station wagon full of kids, shall we stop for Cokes? This makes sense. What does not make sense is, waiter — I'll have a grape Coke. Unless they're making that these days. Blerg.

Apropos of nothing, I had an all-Foodspin Thanksgiving dinner. Being as I'm a misanthrope, I cooked a delicious meal and ate it all myself! Of course this also means I continued to eat that same meal until yesterday.... The chuck roast, the potatoes au gratin, and chocolate pudding. I found the potatoes a bit…

Well, definitely not fucking "the human personification of chlamydia" Adam Levine, and I'm definitely marrying Mel — he's loaded and I sense he's more interested in whoever he's not married to, so that situation seems like it would be endurable. I guess that means it's you and me, Nick! I can close my eyes and just…

There's nothing wrong with the Today Show that couldn't be solved by hiring the untalented offspring of more politicians and/or random celebrities — didn't Romney produce a metric shit ton of television-ready bros with shiney shiney teeth that could slot in next to Seedling (Daughter of Shrub)? And by "solve" of…

It seems like this has some potential as a midnight-showing Rocky Horror holiday special.

Isn't a cappuccino espresso with mostly foam, but some milk? If there's no milk at all it's a macchiato? So she wanted a cappucino weighted more toward a latte than a macchiato? If that's not the case, I'm going to have to turn in my from-Seattle card....

I now have almost no hair on my legs — it's all migrated to my chin. Thanks menopause!

THAT is super fantastic.

Huh. Some of these are surprising.

The problem is these young people that don't vote, eventually become old and do vote, but vote like old people since forever. Seriously, I give up.

The chocolate in the Crunch bar is significantly worse than the chocolate in any other commercially sold candy bar in the U.S. It must have something to do with keeping it together with all those rice crispies, or whatever they are. Months after Halloween, the leftover candy bowls at my office have nothing in them but…

KitKat belongs well below "being hit by a car" for those goddamned commercials with the sound of people chewing prominent in the mix. Also their heavy taste of coconut oil. But mostly the chewing.

I was just invited to a nephew's wedding in Belize at a $500/night resort. OBVIOUSLY he has little expectation of high attendance...both for economic and health/mobility reasons. I don't have one single issue with it. It's his wedding — if this location is special to him and his bride, more power to them. The last…

¡Ay, ay, ay, no me gusta!

I bought boxes of Halloween-colored glow sticks to give out this year (and candy, of course). This year I rule!

Agreed! I also live in CA, and grew up in Seattle, so when I visit places where people still smoke publicly, it's just so weird. It's the same way with garbage — what do you mean ALL the trash goes in ONE bin? But...but...but....

Someone around here coined the phrase, fancy lad prancy dancy. Which is so amazingly perfect.

Stop trying to make shit your dick happen.

Yes, yes I am. Seattle/Dallas is supposedly the "game of the week" — I think the OT game can move over to the app.

And here in L.A., we're still watching Cincinnati/Carolina. WTF Fox?