I actually feel bad for Hiddlestans because he can’t even make a relationship sound interesting or sexy. He speaks in aspirational poster-jargon and has no ass to speak of. This is not good for America.

This Twiddles bullshit is all to take the heat off Taylor’s boob job.

It's hard for Trump to have a firm grasp on anything, given the size of his fingers.

Lentil Eating Lesbian Shit Ass: My Years as a Moderately Well Received Jezebel Commenter.

I love them too!

Yeah I don’t like “fucking” anymore than I like saying “make love”. We have sex. That’s it.

My favorite part of this whole Senior Week thing has been finally realizing that Ashley Feinberg is my favorite person on the Internet.

i am in fact a messy bitch that lives for drama

Delladova getting his dick punches ready for the medal rounds

omg YAS I now desperately need a competitive swimming rom-com starring everyone’s favorite Large sprinter, Nathan Adrian.

That guy has become the most weirdly likeable tweeter. Creepy flesh-colored beard and all.

10/10 WOULD WATCH.

Can you even imagine these two massive mofos throwing down? It would be like the Pacific Rim Jaegers fighting the kaiju.

They’re so much fun! I love the second one because Vincent Cassel is the love of my life.

Yeah. But who will be the Elliott Gould? I’m so hoping for Maggie Smith and/or Helen Mirren. Please, please, please can we have Kristen Scott-Thomas too please?

Gruden is a God damn national treasure.

That book is magnificent but left me anxious mess. Dead people walking. Yeesh.

Ugh, that is mine nightmare kind of scenario; no hope, but you are around just... keeping on until the inevitable end.