The international breakfast is a half-waffle

I feel like that manager deprived the health department of a really amusing experience, though.

TWO of my coworkers seriously think it is pronounced CHIP-OLE-TAY. I shudder.

What is it with sushi and stupid people? I was out to dinner this weekend at a very nice sushi place (the kind where they serve sushi and that’s it, no hibachi or noodle dishes or anything) and the two women at the table in front of us were absolute nitwits. They sat down, looked over the menu, and then started doing…

...meanwhile I’m thinking “Omg that sounds like the very best mouthfull of cum EVER”

I worked for a notoriously high-calorie, large-portion casual dining chain that specialized in having an obscene selection of cheesecakes on their dessert menu.

Unlike with peppers (where it’s everything about them), with tomatoes for me, it’s largely a texture thing. The goopiness of eating a whole tomato (my skin crawls just typing this) and the wateriness of the actual fruit itself (I tend to hate anything with this specific texture) combine to make it a one-way trip to…

People are frequently idiots about “you like pizza? you like spaghetti? Then how can you not like tomatoes on your burger?”

Don’t you understand? Joan Cheever is obviously trying to do good deeds to get into heaven. But as the Bible says, it’s easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than to get a rich person into heaven. So the city of San Antonio is making her $2000 less rich, thereby making it that much easier to get her into…

She is. In case she's listening.

You can't just blatantly copy Kichenette.

My lunch typically consisted of a bean and cheese burrito, tater tots, and chocolate milk.

I don't really have anything that would compare to these but Mrs. Erg likes to spread mustard on devil's food cake, or dab a little mustard on the chocolate chips in chocolate chip cookies, or maybe put some mustard on a piece of chocolate candy. Mrs. Erg ain't right.

boogers, only dry crunchy ones though. Haven't told anyone about this for good reason...

I eat chocolate milk with a spoon. I can't just drink it.

cheddar cheese covered in olive oil and vinegar dressing.

A friend of mine eats salami, swiss cheese and strawberry jelly sandwiches, "the jake".

My husband makes dip out of ketchup and cottage cheese with which to eat potato chips. I ate it to be nice when we were dating but it is totally vile.

Egg Nog on Cheerios is one. Sriracha on a hot dog in a tortilla with a Kraft Single is another...

My husband will eat corn straight from the can. Just open it and eat it, juice and all.