Personally I find it odd that so far every single Miss Universe has come from Earth.

I don’t particularly like it and something about it (especially in the not-pink colors) just screams “Star Trek”.

Godspeed, and I’ll be at Wonkette next Monday.

Pinkham, I am not going to lie, yours was a blog I had looked forward to commenting on each week, and during the typical Monday struggles of a mundane office job your posts brightened my mornings. It was your blog where a comment of mine reached over 200 stars for the first time, and I had looked forward to the day I…

Don’t cry because it’s over, cry because I’m going to grey the shit out of everyone before I go.

I would literally be saying “NO” loudly to her every single time she tried to correct someone.

Or my aunt. The last time we had a family reunion, I kept a running tally of all the celebrity and fictional character names she screwed up - notably, correcting anybody who pronounced them correctly. Over the course of one weekend, we had:

°

I thought oral sex was when you talked about sexy stuff with a boy—- like an oral report.

There was a point in my life where I thought pissing in a lady was how you got them pregnant...

I’m still holding out for this to happen again.

I don’t even know if I should read these, considering I’m still traumatized from last year’s “Look At Me”.

Sure, when Justin Bieber goes outside naked and people see him it’s a violation of his privacy. When I go outside my front door in my underwear and people see me I’m “drunk and disorderly” and “no longer welcome at public parks.”

I miss awkward black girl

Yeah, that sure is a penis.

I fully and completely love the Jane Austen font. I probably over-use it but dun currrrrrrr.

I recommend a swoopy Carmen Sandiego-esque hat, but in black. But then again, you shouldn’t listen to me; my accessory suggestion is ALWAYS a swoopy Carmen Sandiego-esque hat.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.