And they fired the coach THE NEXT DAY.

Man, you should’ve added older brother Josh’s killing a cop with his car to the portfolio of family fun times.

He’s a MAGA stan. Gimelstob is just par for the course for them.

Let the grown ups do their jobs, thanks.

“If the affidavit says what happens,” Burck said, “what is the interest the public has in seeing it?”

“J. Hobson Chavous” My god a name has never fit a Southern dude as much as that

They also had never played Texas Tech in basketball before, so how were they a known team?

8-10 games played and only two other guys on the team have a home run! More homers, RBIs, and one less walk than the combined top 6 guys listed there. Amazing stuff.

I went to my parents’ place this weekend and in a conversation about tennis my boomer aunt just casually called Serena Williams a “gorilla.” My wife told me this after we left so unfortunately I couldn’t confront her at the time, but god damn.

The Blockus Junior game sounded great, but holy cow $65! The original version of the game and its variants are like $15-$25. What a ripoff.

What’s the rhyming reference? I feel so uncool and out of touch by asking this.

I feel like there’s a baseball epidemic of “home plate feet-first slide where the lead foot is off the ground and gets them called out”

Imagine the debilitating stress and anxiety these poor kids-of-billionaires will be when their classmates tell them that their UNCLE and not their DAD is the owner! How will they ever recover??

I cannot imagine being a billionaire who can do literally anything in the world at any time, yet be so vain and petty and thirsty for attention like “why won’t the media give MEEEE credit for being a part-owner of a baseball team thanks to daddy’s money??”

“The matchless name of the Supreme Basileus of the Universe”...what the fuck is that?

Jon Gruden is friggin SWOLE. When did that happen?

He capitalizes the L in cool twice on his front, and not on his back. Boy is he gonna be embarrassed!

Brett Gardner in 2018: .236 BA, .690 OPS, 12 HR, 45 RBI, $11.5M salary

Holy shit!! What the fuck are they doing?

I look forward to Daniel Radcliffe reciting this tweet at next year’s Deadspin Awards.