Just looked at this dipshit’s profile. HE’S A FUCKING SOCCER COACH. I hope someone shows this to Little Johnny’s parents.

I say this in like every article you produce these days, but goddamn Roth you are an amazing writer.

Totally agree. Remember how Gorsuch was fairly easily confirmed just last year? There are plenty of conservative anti-abortion middle-age white dude judges that take Rapey’s place. It’s insane.

Jace and Kelsi - a true millennially-named couple

But couldn’t anybody have been lined up out there, if they’re just going to be a decoy on all but 1 play? I’m a PSU grad and a huge Saquon stan, but I still don’t quite understand how this had some great impact that only he could deliver.

Thanks jim.

You are an awesome fucking writer, David. I love your work here. Please never leave.

Describe to me how a human runs full speed at another human and brings them to the ground without putting some body weight on them.

I mean, on the last drive they had 40 seconds to go 90 yards with no timeouts and Luck threw about 5 straight passes that didn’t go further than 5 yards downfield. It was comical to watch. That boy ain’t right.

“All I want to do is park in a lot that charges me $50 to walk a half mile to a stadium financed by my tax dollars, sit in the stands with tickets bought off a third-party reseller, get bombarded with ads all over the stadium and on the video board, eat some concessions and drink some beers that are 4x what they…

Their RT and C literally didn’t touch a single person on the play.

Every single picture of this guy’s face is completely different from every other one. It’s astounding.

Que?

EXTREMELY true

You should have added in some of his other FB gems, like:

This is good, but also extremely depressing that at least 61 and 45 people liked/laughed at these posts.

edit...meh forget it

That was the line that stood out to me too. Like, what kind of deep-learning neural network AI is this bro doing to statistically compare a QB and an entire offensive line?

Why the fuck would you buy a Trump hat off of Barstool?

For real though, he apparently thought it was appropriate to get off the plane in Shanksville and give a bunch of fist-pump things to the crowd. Treating the families of terrorist attack victims like it’s a fucking campaign rally in Montana.