It wasn’t for a Dictator or anything, buy when I was a personal luxury travel concierge, I once had to procure an armored limo of a German maker for an asshole client who was flying to Africa for a holiday party.

My point exactly.  No car manufacturer has a complete list of end users, with the possible exception of Tesla.

I think somebody left out that Mercedes does background checks on all buyers of the armored models like the Pullman Guard.

Mercedes told NYT it does background checks on all buyers

Mercedes told NYT it does background checks on all buyers

Dear Brian,

+1 to Tom for a funny and delightful last paragraph that did not use the word "god damn" or "Jesus Christ". Some days, er, posts restore my faith in Deadspin.

If you love him so much why not just marry him? Yeesh.

Wow. 7 years later he would be in the 11th grade. I am confused.

In reality, little Colin didn't have any paper handy, so he tattooed the assignment onto his back.

For some reason, I don't really like Colin Kaepernick. He seems like kind of an arrogant douche. He obviously has some admirable qualities (hard worker) but he also seems too full of himself.

The rest of Colin's 4th grade class has full body pictures in their letters. Colin's principal, Jerry Richardson, however, demanded that only Colin's face be in the picture, so the other students would not be encouraged to get glory boy tattoos like their classmate.

Personally, I think that he should have gone with the "Forrest Green" background for the class picture. I also would have accepted the "Shooting Lasers" selection.

Hopefully next week for the Flex Game they'll have some sage writings from Future Colin Kaepernick!

"I hope I go to a good college and then go to the pros and play on the niners..."

I think every 4th grader ever has written this same note.

Im 6 feet 2 anD 245 PouNds. gooD AtHleeT. I hoPe in 7 yeerS I wilL groW 4 inchEs but I Am pLent biG enuF as U seE iN piCshur anD plaY 4 9erz, PaKerz, BaYrz, TiTenz, JaggWarz, SEeHawkz, GiAntz, PaNthurz, SayNtZ or whueVer doNt gEt all BuTthurtZ aBoUt mE skiPpiNg caMp Lol. I wilL be LiK a KiD out Dere 4 RealZ.

Lawrence,

I wonder if Young Tom Brady ever wrote a letter to himself about being an Uggs salesman? Seems plausible.

No wonder the kid's destined for the Super Bowl, his mom used one to cut his hair in the 4th Grade.