Toastyyyyyy~!

I just want to know when Disney's going to release him.

Dick Gumshoe, from the Phoenix Wright games

Yes.

You and I have been misled by many a bad karaoke singer.

they're clinging to a tiny sliver of shoreline about to be swamped by the evil forces of the Left.

Ee-ee-vil woman!
Do-do-do do-do doo!

Charlton Heston's fucking ghost.

You act as if "this period" is going to end…

He inherited money from his father, might as well be the same thing.

Fat guy with a fatter coat!

One step removed from State media.

…if these people had any intellect to begin with.

Castlevania III was the first in the series chronologically if I'm not mistaken, maybe that's why they're starting with that.

Wanted to say this. The last GBA one, with Soma Cruz (as well as its direct sequel on DS) came close to capturing that feeling.

The story goes that the N64 Castlevania was supposed to be the next big one in the series, so they were pretty hands-off the SotN team and let them do what they wanted.

(To the tune of "Vampire Killer," the CV1 theme)

#notMyFuture

Is there a basement?

That's actually fairly even-handed compared to the breathless admiration I've seen online.