What Cadillac needs to do is offer a course on how to park for Escalade buyers.

It took me two paragraphs to realize this was satire. My thought was “What kind of self important bullshi- oh oooooh OK.”

I really didn’t! Don’t hate me too much, I have my share of stupid issues too. Buttholes are dumb.

Wait wait wait wait wait.... farts can get stuck? REALLY? I had no idea! That’s amazing!

Two things:

Yeah, Wilson is a weirdo all right, but he’s our weirdo. Also I’m secretly glad Lynch is gone. I just hope that one day, maybe next decade they’ll get a decent O line.

Ugh. Tell her to drink coffee and get lots of fiber. I am very durable and hemorrhoid surgery leveled me. Only thing worse was my herniated disk. I hope she heals quickly! Tell her best of luck for me, the random goofball in the greys.

According to my Mother, the first poop after surgery and a week of opiates is much worse than natural childbirth. I have experienced this. Its awful. I didn’t completely heal for a long time. Every other BM resulted in a considerable amount of blood.

Multiverse theory is a bitch!

I had that surgery, the recovery was brutal.

They still do that? We had to carry around a fake baby 17 years ago. When it cried you had to put a key in its back.

I was wondering what that smell was. Tacoma usually isn’t THAT bad.

Isn’t that called the Streisand effect?

Sorry dude, if a greasy Kardashian can’t break the internet, nothing will.

And I thought my four year old daughter was picky. This guy is more pretentious than a vegan CrossFit instructor.

Good god Avril Levine has gotten attractive. She ever learn how to write good music?

By fags you mean smokes, right? Here in the states a car full of booze and fags has a way different meaning. I would figure they’re going clubbing.

Brb, I gotta go find some pearls to clutch.

Hot take!

If more electrics weren’t shaped like gigantic blue turds I might go for it. Oh hell, who am I kiddding? I can’t afford a new car.