This is Zero. Or Little Z, as I called him. He fetched, and brought me random things while I sat on the toilet. He loved to sit next to me, and was very quiet. While he was in my life, I never felt alone or unsure of myself.

PLEASE: Never assert that Transformers (aimed at boys) gets a semi-respectful adaptation. Do not let your critique wander into some half-assed gender theory. You risk undermining the other legitimate points in your review. If no one at i09 has told you—and maybe check in with Bricken, he built his career around…