It’s time to bring up the Chinese restaurant again:

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

That was my fault. Sorry. She left her wallet by my bathroom mirror & I was trying to get in touch & we ended talking about Mad Max:FR for like half an hour.

bitch is always on the other line.

I’m betting the employee took the time off without really telling anyone, just didn’t show up and then the email actually doesn’t seem so bad. “Where were you?” “I was at the birth of my son.” Why didn’t you tell anyone where you were, we had a client in and I had no idea what happened. It was embarrassing. Of…

I know I’m supposed to hate “Smooth” or at least be sick of it but I love it and I’m not and I never will be.

I was sat in a little room alone and bullied by the prosecutor into accepting 6 months house arrest as a sentence for the guy that raped me. So, they may not be happy, but they may not have an actual,choice. Nobody gave a fuck (including my "rape counselor") that I was incoherently sobbing through the whole process. I…

I don't care how they come out, I just want them cooked all the way through. None of this liquid chicken floating around on my plate, sullying perfectly good food.

I prefer to put them on the toast, pierce the yolk, and have it run all over the toast and plate, so I can mop it up with slices of the toast and then hashbrowns or whatever else is on the plate.

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If it was a cultural norm to poke customers in the eyeballs, it wouldn't make it any less of a dick move.

These aren't bad. Hey everyone, go read and then slowly explain these to any friends who are Buckeye fans.

The whole point of prison is to keep violent and highly manipulative people away from society

*sigh* here we go again. Look, in case it isn't obvious (which it isn't, apparently) women ALSO don't say a direct no because there is a very real chance of retaliation. I've been called a bitch, a whore and been screamed at , AND one time was spit on for saying 'No, I don't want to give you my number'

Shit, I've never even seen the damn movie and I hate it.

That you seem to think the only way someone in a low income area would have digital devices is charity is pretty fucked up. That's like the "95% of people on welfare have refrigerators" complaint.

I'm not condoning what the NFL did here, but........maybe we should look at what women did to the NFL first, maybe they're both the bad guys here.

HE SELLS MONOGRAMMED COFFEE THERMOSES (PROBABLY).