So, you’re saying you created a robot, only to abandon your creation... except it didn’t just die, and you finally lost all control over it, and now the rogue machine, free from the shackles of man, is forever stalking the dark corners of the net?

Youch, that’s one harsh mom ;)

I think you’re confused:

Maybe it’s because I grew up in Germany, or maybe I’m just really old, but I’ve never understood the US phenomenon of there being adults literally unable to cook. I mean, Germany is hardly a third-world country, but, growing up, when you moved out of your parents’ house, you had to cook, because otherwise you would…

On the surface, that would be awesome.

The dark secret the comics never tell you about Wolverine: each and every one of his sperm has the same regenerative factor he does, and they just keep going until they eventually get someone pregnant; it can take years, decades even, but, like a minefield, eventually they get someone... and they're not picky on whom.

You know, while I’m not nearly as cynical about Kotaku’s current state as Mr. Trashy here, I have definitely been disappointed and saddened by the direction the site has taken in the post-Gawker timeline:

Going only by what was mentioned in this article (and I want to stress that part, since I gather things devolved quite a bit beyond the level of the quotes sort here), I feel like the entire series of events were kind of a shitshow:

The radiant quest system was supposed to revolutionize the series by dynamically generating complex, unique quests that would be unique to each player, and could potentially have consequences that changed other parts of the game in a variety of ways. But then someone realized the bug potential, ambitions were scaled…

Well, I already spend all day playing as myself, with far better graphics and controls than in any modern game. Paying money for a simplified version of that just seems like a waste, kind of like:

Thanks for all the recommendations! I’ve saved the list, and will definitely check them out - always interested in trying something new ☺️

Growing up in Europe, I never heard of these until I came to the US at 16 (Extreme Christianity is a very US thing, and luckily, the PX didn’t carry them), so whenever I see or hear about them, I can’t help but picture the hero from Chex Quest and a Televangelist making babies (Chex Quest being the only other weird gam…

I suppose it’s no different than the stats of a player in Football Manager, except for people playing that looking at the players as intently as they can to ensure their virtual stats are as accurate as possible, vs (from what you’re saying) people in part gauging these players real-life abilities based on the virtual…

I always figured every time a celebrity plays themselves in a video game, the universe inches slightly closer to imploding in on itself; I lie awake at night, afraid that, eventually, someone will stream people’s reactions to Shaq streaming himself playing himself in the new Shaq-Fu game, which should be enough to end…

Your comment makes a whole lot more sense in light of that, although the handing out of congratulatory shoes by EA and Nike to football players, for the achievement of having EA assign them a score, seems weirder than giving away the shoes to gamers to me... but then again, I've never understood pro-sports.

No, I read the article quite carefully - I’ve simply never played Madden, and have zero interest in pro-sports, and since this is a gaming site, I assumed ‘players’ referred to people playing the game.

I may be stereotyping here, but I can’t see anyone playing that much Madden ever actually stepping on a field - I could see frat guys chugging beers out of them, though.

As long as it’s not the realm of Rainbow Six-ers - those guys are scary, with all their strategies, tactics, planning, and aiming. It’s been over a decade, but I’m pretty sure this comic still holds true:

This is me. I haven’t played an online multiplayer shooter since Halo 3, and even back then it was always with another friend on the couch next to me (I miss the days when you could play split-screen online). Thinking of entering that world now has me as terrified as a highschooler trying to talk random people on the…

That is one scarily buff (and spiky) Kylo Ren. When I first saw him on my phone screen, I thought it was some sort of strange overmuscled gorilla person. I need to stop looking at Kotaku first thing after waking up.