“dampened with a 1:1 combination of 70% isopropyl alcohol and diluted water will work”.  What is “diluted water”?

Students at a friend's school have referred coronavirus as the Boomer Remover. 

Limits air travel, kills Boomers...they finally did it.

Coronavirus, more effective than any climate change plan. 

Italy gives pollution the boot!

My father actively prays for the end of the world and the second coming, every night. When I told him that he was asking God to kill his only child and grandchildren, he honestly got this look on his face that told me he hadn’t really thought about that part before.

Given how post-modern the evangelical movement’s conception of truth is, that doesn’t really surprise. I mean, post-modernism as an academic theory of truth was never taken all that seriously. The main insight and value of the post-modernist movement was to note that there is a fundamental distinction between what is,…

I would think ushering in the apocalypse through his complete mishandling of this pandemic would actually be a positive thing in evangelicals’ minds.

It provides the harsh, sandpapery friction on my genitals that I desire.

BUT IT HAS NEVER BEFORE ITCHED AS MUCH AS EVERY PART OF IT DOES IN THIS VERY MOMENT

Tom Hanks and deadly pandemic viruses?

Holy shit, you get cake??

Joe Vs. The Volcano--end up on a raft made of luggage.

No one should be surprised. Tom Hanks and travel do not get along.

There is an older man at my job, it probably doesn’t hurt the story to mention he is 60 (looks 80) and has a 4 year old daughter with a mail order bride- he doesn’t even know her name. My coworkers would contend the grossest thing about him is he eats handfuls of bagged lettuce or how loud he is on the phone, however…

I was on call and got a request to go to the ER once* for a patient who had a severe case of constipation. Or at least it was along those lines because eventually, when nothing else was working, the doctor reached into the patient’s ass — more than once — to grab all the backed-up shit, which was then thrown on the…

I worked for a large professional orchestra and the administration offices had a communal kitchen with a big sink, fridge, oven, stove, and microwave. I once walked in the kitchen and saw a woman cleaning an entire raw chicken in the sink. My office wasn’t far from the kitchen, and I didn’t smell chicken cooking later…

See also: the guy taunting everyone in my costco that they were “just going to have to get water from the tap” after he snagged the last case of waters.  I wish I'd filmed him instead of just giving him my worst stank eye.

A friend of mine was in a grocery store yesterday. Although the store asked customers to buy a maximum of 5 bottles of hand sanitizer, she observed a lovely gentleman clear the entire shelf of product. Like, dozens of bottles. When asked politely by staff not to take the last of their supply, he screamed that he was a…