Oh god. It’s pivot charts over here, just click on it! Why won’t people just try things! You’re not going to break anything!

You have to think ahead, what stupid questions are people going to come up with about this spreadsheet, report, etc?

I had my review at work recently, and my manager said you’re so organized and plan ahead. I was thinking about it later and thought, of course I plan ahead, I plan ahead so you people aren’t bothering me!

Rich? Totally. Famous? ...

Ages 13 to 38 cuts quite a wide swath. I’d be frightened of anyone over 35 who aspired to be an influencer.

Yep he is assuming a lot from my reading as well.

AND it sounds like he assumes that just because this friend isn’t having sex with her husband, she must want it with him. She may just have been confiding in and/or venting to him but he’s seeing it as an invitation.

I can’t for the life of me figure out what the second letter is about. It seems like the guy made a pass at his married friend, but he wants a pat on the back for looking out for her husband. 

Dating is awful! And there are times I would love to have somebody to come home to and to help me put on the duvet cover and pay half the rent and share a life.

I go with Cat Lady.

ok this is a thing coupled people always say and I’m like...y’all ok? is everyone being smothered? are you not allowed to have alone time or what? 

Unless you are single because you’re a miserable person who’s flaws and character deficiencies

Eh. She’s 30. She’s playing with her identity and I get it. And if it allows her to dissect this and explore what it means to her a bit more, that’s fine. She’s not saying “everyone must call it this from now until forever,” she’s saying, “this is what I call it in my head.” Fine. In my head, I call jellyfish “seal…

I got as far as “Emma Watson turning 30" and got too distracted by my joints creaking to read any farther.

I prefer ‘spinster’, myself.

As a Gawker refugee who decamped to Deadspin despite only a passing interest in sports, this content speaks to me. Thank you. 

Guyyyysss, who approved the Ouija board story?

Does anyone want to start building a canon of the all-time greats we’ve had on here, over the years?

I feel like the crawling civil war ghost would go on there for me, from this year. Just a deeply upsetting mental image.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Now just what the fuck is this?