20 years of men staring at your boobs...

Or have actually met at some point?

I think whatever is going on in their head is something like this:

On the other hand, given his advanced age, it's possible he doesn't get boners period. But of course, that's the fault of random women on the internet and not the effect of gravity or decades of fapping with The Grip Of Death to online images.

that's not a balloon, that's a BABY, you fucking moron

"In respect of the person who currently owns you, I will stop imagining that I own you."

I find it super super pitiful that he seemed to hold some notion that they would be together before she gained weight. Do men understand that in order to actually be together you sort of have to like each other as people? In addition to wanting to fuck? I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Hop on board, young sir! Your ticket is your possessing an ounce of self-awareness/humor/empathy.

"I'm happily married with a baby and a great career, life couldn't be better! Better check my email.... *RECORD SCRATCH* OMIGOD, some rando in his eighties dislikes my "ballooning" figure! OH GOD IT'S ALL MEANINGLESS I'M WORTHLESS UNLESS HE APPROVES ME!"

I'd be ecstatic if I were she.

Ugh, seriously.

Only if said columnist is a woman, naturally.

"Some". Sure.

I guarantee he thinks he sounds classy for stopping his fantasizing when she got married.

"...fantasized about you for years..."

I love that the writer is convinced that the loss of a spot in a creepy old (several decades, really guy?) perv's fap file means she'll immediately hop to it and lose a bunch of weight. WHY are all men convinced that we give a fuck whether or not they want to fuck us? Particularly when we aren't even single? Like, if…

So this troglodyte doesn't get a boner over her anymore? How sad!

I'm going to write to every fat male public figure I can find. "What a disappointment! What does your wife think? Did you first get her approval, before you decided to let yourself run around looking like that? I'm sure she would appreciate it if you lost weight. We look forward to a whole series of tweets, Facebook…

"despite being a few decades older than you"

You see, I don't care about whether the letter writer in question is a felon writing from prison or a businessman writing from his office or a grandpa writing from the kitchen. His name needs to be outed. These guys need to be personally embarrassed.