“RUIN! We meant ‘ruin the government, like a business.’ We’ll just run the government into the ground for short-sighted gains, and then line our pockets with obscene amounts of money before leaving.”

Please tell me this is real. Hillary Clinton Troll is the best Hillary Clinton (besides President Hillary Clinton).

When are congressional Republicans going to latch onto the “he has dementia” angle so that we all have to start “feeling sorry” for him? I vaguely remember that about Reagan.

Make God Great Again!

“Firing ‘Nut job’ Relieves Pressure for Trump”

We’ll get a flood of Tweets after he links to the Boingo hotspot at Heathrow.

My mother and I, during one of our weekly mutual liberal telephone rants, was complaining about how conservatives say that there is no such thing as a “war on women”: after all, they love women! I replied “well, I love my dog, but I don’t respect him.”

He looks like Vader without his helmet, minus the redemption.

That’s the infuriating thing about Jimenez: out of 10 starts, he’ll give you 8 games of dogshit and 2 games where he is just unhitable. I assume that he was matched up with Sherzer as an “oh well, we might as well blow our guaranteed Jimenez loss on a night when Sherzer is pitching. We’ll just lose 10-0 and move on to…

I concur in the judgment. Basis: After electing Trump, America has no values worth exporting, and we have lost all moral leverage over other countries. And, God help us if we try to export our special brand of “freedom” (i.e., unfettered capitalistic greed) to other countries.

Maybe it’s because Machado keeps hitting the ball out of the park, thereby denying some young Sawks fan a souvenir. Honestly, Sox players and fans will apparently take personal offense to lower back pain if they could, so who knows at this point?! Off with his head!

Tell that to David fucking Ortiz.

Have you tried golf? You might be expending too much of your finite amount of energy.

You never seem to see those gun-toting, freedom-loving sovereign citizens occupying a federal nature preserve when a POC gets killed by the cops or dies in jail before even having a trial. That sort of response is reserved for real crimes against liberty, like having to pay your government grazing fees.

If he says it three times in front of a mirror, Paul Mooney will appear and grant him one wish, as long as that wish is “I want to be bitch-slapped across the face by Paul Mooney.”

Even Jesus wasn’t that great of a carpenter.

You, sir, are a delight.

Jaywalk like a thug, die like a thug.