Honestly I thought this was going to turn into a horror story where he broke his dick... I sure as hell wouldn’t jab something into my member for any reason short of death or a broken dick.

Men think women want longer ones, when they really want thicker ones.

But... but... his wife said she can *definitely* tell the difference and, as we all know, women never ever lie about how impressive a man’s dick is!

I don’t know about a bigger dick, but I’ve been working towards a bigger bank account for practically my whole life. From what I hear, it’s better than a bigger dick.

I’m calling bullshit. No guy in the world would try something this stupid without having already measured his cock in exacting detail so he could excitedly (and then disappointedly) measure the “after” effects in just as much detail. I mean, c’mon, we’ve all at least taken a ruler down there to check...