Oh, fuck you. Beat me to it by a fucking minute.

Yes, this is why damn near every performer in Hollywood, including people who America universally adores and respects, constantly raves about Sandler and raves about his films like each one was Caddyshack crossed with Annie Hall with rewrites by Jonathan Swift and Oscar Wilde. From a critic's perspective, he's Satan…

No, no, really. This sounds like an excellent movie…

Yeah, this one is pretty good. Not Skins/Degrassi good, but good by American standards for sure. I like the traditionally cast shows too, though. I especially love the ones where the "children" look like 30-year-olds, talk like 30-year-olds, and do not seem to have any adult supervision. You wonder what the point…

Not all. The kid from Suite Life of Zack and Cody is now the "old man" of the cast; how fucking disturbing is that?

You have just given me excellent inspiration for my bucket list, good sir!

The headlines sound good, but the fine print can be ruthless for some students. Already members of some of the country's most distinguished black sororities have been ruled ineligible, as these scholarships are strictly for Independent Women. And, with the shameful shortage of female students in STEM fields, how much…

This is nothing but an obvious plot to make Girls Run The World.

Despite their reputation, you actually see a fair amount of viewpoint diversity on HuffPo from actual academics. (Of course, in contrast to other sites that is a vanishingly miniscule portion of their bloated mass of content, where you are lucky to find something even slightly original, even if it's something shit out…

I presume your cousin is an al-Qaeda sleeper agent trying to psych himself up for the occasion?

No! Common myth. A very slight effect from the caffeine but completely dwarfed by the amount of fluid you ingest with it. Drink up; it's as good as water.

True, it probably does seem old-timey enough now that one would expect to speak like a turn-of-the-century fop under such a circumstance. I feel like even by my time its use as a hot beverage was a bit more enduring than as a cool one.

Your college mates were appallingly unworldly. I am your age. Ovaltine is an officially unadvertised brand in the U.S. nowadays, but while it was not exactly "hot" (Nestle Quik was the hot beverage of choice for our generation) it was actively pushed all over TV, radio, and print when we were growing up. Decidedly…

That sounds hilarious but also very British. There is no way you could get Americans to laugh at a commercial poking fun so cheekily at an economic pain and fear that is a very real part of what they see and face around them (even more so in Britain, which had a very different postwar than us). In the right context we…

If you had regular Cream of Wheat this morning instead of Malt O Meal, I don't want to hear it. And are you a Malta India or Malta Goya man? If you don't know what I'm talking about, GTFO with that malt poseur shit!

Well, "sports environments" vary greatly like any other type of environment. And that wasn't exactly the dominant kind of environment in his life at the end there (nor the only one he enjoyed hanging out in at any point prior).

I thought Jurassic Park, Mag 7, etc., brought more than their share of grumbles about his disappointing failure to bring a big-screen leading-man presence in any kind of range.

Man, this is totally going on the MySpace page!

Brits must find it endlessly amusing that that word can still startle us Yanks like storybook Victorian matrons. It's just about their favorite word in their whole language, which they toss about like common punctuation. The Queen probably barely makes it past morning prayers before dropping her first c-bomb.

Naw; the article was written by Brits. The link was written by A.V. Club staff. (And not even a link to the original article—a link to an article that describes the original article!) So next time you bitch about them canceling another review series, remember: That Daily Mail, Sun, and TMZ content is not going to…