Hahahaha- you went into a David Lynch project with EXPECTATIONS? Strikes one through three.

I hate posts like these because you see some fucking creeper get dunked on in a spectacular, completely warranted fashion, but you NEVER EVER see the actual person reacting/responding to being dunked on. It's schadenfreude blueballs.

If you stack each director up movie-wise, I think you'll find Tobe Hooper's miss-to-hit ratio is fucking shameful.

Fidget Spinners were designed specifically for a 60-year-old T.J. Miller to name-check on VH1's I Love the 2010's twenty years from now.

I mean, have you seen Punisher: War Zone, though? I still maintain it's the best thing Marvel Studios has ever put out. Definitely one of the best action films of the last twenty years, as well.

Being an Asian dude on the go willing to exploit a situation for my own personal gain, I booked United seconds after they threw that Asian doctor off their plane thinking, "well, fuck. Clearly they're gonna be kept on their toes for the foreseeable future, might as well take advantage of these fares - " United has…

No thanks. Nothing will top the awesome pornography that is Punisher: War Zone.

I just got turned on to these guys two weeks ago and now I have a double album and a live show to look forward to. This is awesome.

I've seen Sleepytime Gorilla Museum at least a dozen times (not counting their latest incarnation Free Salamander Exhibit), Melt-Banana 8 or 9 times probably then followed by Ween who I've seen 8 times since last August.

I was there for four days. The first two days were an acid-drenched fun house where anything could happen, but soon enough everything kind of falls to the side and you're stuck in a place where no matter where you're standing, you're within five feet of someone losing everything, sobbing uncontrollably, screaming the…

Apparently those are the words of the Golden Eel.

I was in Vegas in February attending three Ween shows and I can confirm the beauty and ease of obtaining sweet, sweet cocaine.

Strain selection make a huge difference. One of my best friends who has struggled with Bipolar II for the majority of her life never had a single good experience with the stuff until I suggested looking into indica strains specifically. Now she's got her medical card and smokes/vapes on a daily basis. It doesn't…

Vegas is a booze town through and through. Alcohol distributors are going to try their best to keep it that way.

Have you considered making edibles?

You should, at the very least, try a weed once.

Jesus Christ, think about the kind of person who has enough evil in their apparently non-existent heart to fire Kermit the Frog.

The moment I decided to do every single drug I could get my hands on was when my DARE officer got busted for selling contraband.

Holy shit, whoever at The Gap picked Ween's Joppa Road knew exactly what the fuck they were doing.

I will always cherish this episode because the set-up with the comedian morgue attendant pays off when Albert steps in the room and they immediately click.