Get your fucking act together MLS, only a bush league organization has a team in green playing a red one.

Wow. Dallas has the worst luck with shots taken in November.

Uh, Billy, you’re burying the lede here.

Doesn’t have Plymouth gin, list invalidated.

And yet, he had no issue taking a complimentary car from a place calling itself Kunes.

I bet CC Sabathia was even more upset he missed the game when he heard that the stadium was full of boos.

You used three sets of parentheses, but one period? You should not be in any school system.

*goes home to bang girlfriend*

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

“It’s physics.” - at least 99% of the time someone says this, they’re utterly full of shit

Favre doesn’t know anything about being hung.

Unless the Texans can make a good quarterback turnip, they're going to keep getting beet.

Dear America -

In a few weeks we’ll find out Kostek is actually 40 cans of Bud Light in a wig.

That’s where the similarities stopped.

As a Rutgers alum I read through this article waiting to see some accurate slams of my schools’ football team only to find the largest slam of all- they weren’t even mentioned

Don't think you can embed Vines on Kinja, but this is the height of the medium

Bryant & Patmon: [start fighting]

In fairness, Scottish people have no idea what the sun looks like.

Men make higher earnings such as money such as