I love how they misinterpret British phrases.

Don’t forget Nip/Tuck!

Nasim Pedrad is killing it (ha ha), and I am truly enjoying Jamie Lee Curtis as well.

Billie Lourd is the breakout, imho.

I wonder what would happen if a headphone company made a visually distinct headphone - like, cherry red with giant Xs on the earpieces - and aggressively advertised with the statement, “These headphones are for people who don’t want to be interrupted. If you buy these, don’t expect anyone to talk to you. Everyone…

Hey Kara, we all know you’re willing to ban people. Can you ban Arken? He’s really really annoying. Thanks in advance!

Exactly this! Also on planes, trains, etc.

This bothers me more because I consider headphones a big “DO NOT INTERRUPT” sign as I know plenty of people put them on specifically because they don’t want anyone to bother them.

OH MY GOD, all I really want out of the universe is to be left alone on on my goddamn lunch break.
Case in point, yesterday. I attempt to eat, I crack the lid on my exciting tupperware-housed leftovers, and a head pops around the corner:

If only that could be true.

That doesn’t actually work. I use that line all the time but men get very butthurt that I don’t want to enjoy their sparkling wit. I have looked men in the eyes and said “GO AWAY. I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU” and they still stand there talking.

“Please leave me alone” has a great chance to arouse his anger. There is no winning here.

Except for usually if someone is stupid enough or rude enough to talk to you while you’re clearly not interested...they are usually the type of person to either KEEP trying after you say that, or get angry and harass you.

Maybe men should get better at that.

Hey there.

I’m going to print this out and post it on my cube wall and everyone at work will hate me more than they do already. Mission accomplished! Total isolation!

Purely for your entertainment: I once found the perfect beanie on the ground at the park. Someone at the soccer field left it there, and no one came for it, so two days later I took it home. It was heaven - slouchy but not baggy, reinforced sun brim, brown and purple cable knit with flecks of orange, and 100% free. I…

I wouldn’t do this to just anyone, but I’ve known you at both Gawker Media and non-Gawker Media sites, and we both know you don’t work and play well with others.

(pssst it works because of constant hairdressers on set and they can afford that expensive-ass beanie)

:( :( :(

In fact, you didn’t “agree with what I said”. You kept arguing that because Henny Youngman held a violin, or started out as a musician, that somehow he wasn’t a stand-up comedian. You didn’t say “Oh yeah, I guess has a history that pre-dates the Apollo”. You’re still not actually listening to people, just…