Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Is this how liberal white folks think? Gotta catch em all like races are Pokemon?

I see you used the pronoun "him," so you're saying Karma's not a bitch?

Five-hundred twenty-five thousand six-hundred weiners! Five-hundred twenty-five thousand gallons of lube...

I just thought he swam everywhere.

My parents have a Gorgeous Mirror in their bathroom. It has to be a combination of lighting and the color of the room, but everyone always looks amazing in that mirror. The one in my bathroom at that house was the total opposite; you always look haggard and drawn. I never knew which one to believe! I know the truth…

I can see how you can be mean to a cat, but how do you be just rude? Does she comment on its weight? Fail to send thank-you notes after it brings her a chewed-up lizard? Call it a nickname it doesn't approve of?

We are not considered a person even before the sperm meets the egg. Just empty incubators.

So at the end of the day, I knew that was a mistake I would never make again, but I take into consideration like, dang, I was like 17-18—I'm 25

nothing to do with Amy Poehler, but I wish celebrities stopped doing AMA's on reddit, and switched it to twitter or facebook. Considering how redditors treated celebrities during "the fappening", why support that community?

I wonder if Hilary Duff knew she would be loosing one of her arms during this shoot.

Sorry I'm going with fuck NPH, marry Anderson Cooper, and kill Andy Cohen. Anderson Cooper is intelligent and has that sweet, savory Vanderbilt money.

The only right answer is to fuck Anderson Cooper, marry Neil Patrick Harris, and kill Andy Cohen. I believe these are self-explanatory so I won't bore you with my reasoning.

People say that kale is food, but in my experience it is the plant equivalent of eating boot leather.

This story is so tragic. Such suffering, to have to live in Dallas AND get married in Cleveland.

Spicer said he recently met with the executive producer of a network Sunday show who begged him for "new hip conservatives" to feature on the show's roundtable.

I feel the need to link to this engagement chicken story on the Toast. http://the-toast.net/2013/11/18/eng…

I made the mistake of reading comments in TwoX on reddit today on this, and I learned that even talking women being afraid to reject men outright because some men might react badly is misandry and proof you hate all men. And also #NOTALLMEN!!!!!

I both appreciated this comment and felt compelled to get you off of 666 stars.

Oddly, I believe Theresa is, in fact, that stupid. Joe knows what he's doing but it is actually possible she is simply this stupid.