“I get that it’s important we have more diversity in late night. But being important doesn’t make a show interesting or keep viewers watching.”

This is one of those things that feels like such common sense and I wish I invented it.

It's the weird saggy-boob effect.

You never switch checkout lines! You’re doomed if you do.

Which one of those doors is locked? Because that’s the one I’m inevitably going to try to walk through first.

The reason for the clipless is so you can get power on the upstroke. If you don’t have your foot clipped in, you are wasting energy. Clipless elables you to both push the pedal down and pull it up.

79 cents on the dollar and 72% of Oceans characters. Thanks, Obama.

She pees in the house in the video. So much for housebroken. That house probably smells amazing.

There is a lot of Photoshop going on with Kourtney’s leg in that photo.

I am currently in the middle of planning a wedding and, by and large, it is not the gigantic struggle that everyone makes it out to be. I say “no” to things I don’t want and pay for the things I do. Revolutionary.

When I brought my ring to the jeweler they had multicolored spotlights.

Nothing will ever be grosser than the pumpkin seed story. Don’t even try.

HB 1337, you say?

Breaking news: Pope is Catholic

Good ol’ Leonard.

I took that partisan bias test. The first time I got high republican bias and the second time I got moderate democratic bias. So, like all online tests, I'm guessing it's full of shit.

YOLANDA, I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN BUT PLEASE MARRY ME SO I CAN BASK FOREVER IN THE GOLDEN AURA EMINATING FROM YOUR LIFE/FRIDGE

Sean Penn beat the shit out of Madonna and he's doing just fine. The public has a short memory.

The eyelashes also seem very precise.

It’s one thing to complain about spoilers in the middle of an article about a show or movie that’s been out for weeks. This aired less than 24 hours ago and the spoiler is in the title, thus impossible to ignore.