I’m sure your music taste is beyond reproach. I’m sure the music you like is deep and says a lot about the kind of person you are. I’m sure people fall over themselves to compliment you on your playlists. Jog on.

Tinashe is actually a really awesome person, bright and creative. She’s everything people are always dissing pop girls for not being, and yet she’s still met with derision and automatic dismissal.

Ah, mine is shaped like Samantha. I got to play with them at a friend’s house or look at the catalogues other girls brought to school. She’ll be mine yet (thank goodness for Ebay).

Personally, I think we should decriminalize all drugs, and treat addicts as patients rather than criminals.

Do you remember when getting the Pleasant Company catalogue in the mail was the highlight of your year? Because I do.

OMG My history degree is potentially useful for more than beating my dog at Jeopardy (I’ll have student debt for no job, Alex!)

It also why we have problems going number 2.

I had almost all of your medical symptoms. Then I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and put on meds.

when you call in sick to work, “food poisoning” works better than “extreme diahrhea.” I think that’s where the food poisoning misuse comes from. 

It can be really hard to distinguish food poisoning from a GI virus, and if your immune system aint so good and/or your gut flora isn’t very good, bouts of either can be common. I used to have a terrible immune system due to unmanaged insomnia and I got sick (GI or respiratory) about 6 times a year give or take. Now…

wow....totally uncalled for.

She can thank Bannon for leaking that nothing burger of a tax return to that reporter to distract us from Russia and Health Care. Better luck next time, lumpy Steve.

Liberals keep dreaming of this magic bullet, this shocking revelation that will spur protective governmental action that’s going to somehow make it all better. They still think Trump is an aberration instead of the natural result of our system and the way both parties have developed over the last several decades, and…

Never had summer sausage? I don’t understand these words.

“I’m lucky to have the love of my family and friends, including my parent, Jen...”

Except that in this context, parent would change the entire meaning of his statement.

My head knows it’s bullshit, but my heart hopes there’s something there.

We can be friends.

I wanted the Crave box anyways. CHEEZ ITS. Fucking Tapas box is pretentious as fuck.

I would have shared the nice man’s Crunch box and then we’d have a FUCKING ADORABLE story to tell about how we met when we inevitably fell in love and got married.