I died laughing at “Do you have a career/hobbies? Why not?”

Stop insulting tools, tools are useful.

Can someone, pretty please, conduct a study about the women who buy hook line and sinker into these marketing schemes that eventually become a Thing(tm)You(tm)Have(tm)To(tm)Have(tm)For(tm)Your(tm)SpecialDayofSnowflakery(tm)?

See, now I want a cartoon webseries about Amish service dogs on rumspringa. They would have left their tiny town in rural PA for the big city and get into all sorts of dog-related hijinks!

I feel like this was probably rumspringa for service dogs: he was taking his last chance to misbehave before commiting to a life of caring service and dignified sacrifice to help those in need.

I agree with all of these except the weather! I know everyone thinks it’s gauche to talk about the weather, but it’s the great equalizer. “It’s so fucking hot right now I just want to wring out my boob sweat into a wading pool filled with ice and jump in” is the kind of conversation everyone can relate to.

they’re also de facto hiring halls. read this as hiring balls

He was pretty good in The Town, as well.

Imma bring this out again.

That is a thing of beauty. I can never repay you, but I can try:

It’s not about racism it’s about heritage... of racists.

That man was a fucking treasure.

I think my personal favorite is when I see them flying in New England. YOU’RE FROM VERMONT. YOU’RE BASICALLY CANADIAN. FUCKING CHILL.

Can someone please explain the rationale for requiring this? I legit want to know the reason. This provision was introduced by anti-abortion whach-jobs, right? Doesn’t telling women this abortion procedure is reversible make them MORE likely to go ahead with it?

It’s my favorite part of the day, so far.

originally it was hot dog but I decided corndogs are more intrinsically funny

The response of America (I will never get tired of this gif by the way).

Kinda rude to corn dogs through.

#notallwienersonastick

The title for this episode should have been “Stannis and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”