Someone please make an animated GIF of them doing the Calvin and Hobbs dance in tandem at the end.

Just go as a cat (way easier) and carry a Barbie doll. Voila: a cat carrying Taylor Swift.

I saw him with a puppy. It definitely flipped the Hiddleswitch.

That happened to me too, with both of them.

yes! which one????

Not mad. Now I'm thinking of both... at the same time... I'll be in my bunk.

Who could be mad?!

My diet buster? Not having a diet.

Okay, this might be unpopular, and I understand if you ignore it. But I really dislike this post. Like, a lot.

I got married a year ago, and at the time I found there to be quite a bit of anti-wedding bias on the Jezebel editorial staff; a good deal of the wedding-related posts were mocking traditions or, worse,…

I'll see your computer science and raise you a physics PhD program.

He probably thinks the women all got accepted into "his" program through some kind of affirmative action, instead of, oh I don't know, being educated and intelligent enough to EARN their acceptance into a graduate level program.

I snorted my Irn Bru reading this.

More than anything, I wish that I could somehow organize ALL women to not groom beyond average men's grooming standards for two entire months (NO makeup, no hair product, no hair arranging, no shaving, no special facewash, no wearing any clothing that needs extra care, no heeled shoes). Then maybe everyone who has an…

<shiver> Douchebumps.

Who's that whisperin' in the trees?

Especially if you live in Colorado, people. I don't want a draft-dodging Texas-gov-wannabe as my governor.

Dear Fancy: I am much too cool and special to buy gifts off the registry like a normal person. How do I demonstrate to the newlyweds/new parents how much better I am than all their other friends without completely pissing them off?

Is that a real face?

This native New Englander just cannot handle the level of tackiness on display. Pearls, clutched.