Weekly Pinkham’s Law Bet: milkshakes (“the restaurant opens at 10AM!! the milkshake machine should have been ready when it was supposed to be!!” etc., while ignoring any discussion of the whole “put it in a bag” madness)

It was the entire airport trying to load BCO at the same time...

This week’s bet for Pinkham’s law: Crowl Royal (“Look, he SAID it came in pints or pitchers! Some people dooon’t knoooow...”)

Not as long as the Aspirational Clear Pee Diet remains a thing, no...

[immediately starts wondering how many pet cats are out there named Catticus Finch...]

Yeah, I’m going with Swiss cheese girl too. “She was JUST ASKING!! How HARD would it have been for the server to just ANSWER?! NOT EVERYONE KNOWS DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHEESES ARE CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE GAWD”

I worry that “audible skin tag” is getting lost in the shuffle here when it really should be climbing the ranks...

True; you do find yourself kind of rooting for the corn dog in that story...

I actually think that the RNC/Koch brothers are allowing the entire clown cars’ worth of Republican candidates to happen because they’re effectively using them as a big bundle of wind socks. Based on how everyone fares in the primary polls they’ll be able to determine a) which way the wind is blowing so that they can…

Kelly still has my personal favorite: “an ambitious corn dog that escaped from the concession stand at a rural Alabama fairground, stole an unattended wig, hopped a freight train to Atlantic City and never looked back”. Poetry.

It’s so epically outdated it’s not even funny. When they brought in SHARES as part of the merger - in 2012, mind you - it was freaking command-line based and enormously user-unfriendly. I keep hearing about a GUI interface that they were supposed to be slapping on top of it, but no idea if that’s actually happened yet…

Nationwide ground stop has been lifted! Still going to be a rough day flying United, though...

(that said, I have no explanations to offer for the post-merger food, because OMG. As far as I can tell they looked at the very tolerable United and Continental offerings and then went “hey, let’s just take everything a 7/11 hasn’t been able to sell yet by 10pm, remove flavor, and add salt. Done!”)

Actually, it’s the opposite. They basically kept the name United but pulled everything else from Continental - SHARES is the most glaringly awful example, but the higher-ups in the company, many of the general business practices, etc., are all Continental as well (though from talking to pilots/FAs/GAs it does sound…

Latest word is that SHARES is back up, so the groundstop will probably lift in the next hour or two (they say “15 minutes”, which in United-speak usually means “could be like an hour”) That said, there will still be delays propagating through the system over the course of the day, so watch your flights!

I *guarantee* you something just got fucked up. When they “merged” (i.e. got eaten by) Continental back in 2011 they shifted over to the SHARES computer system (it’s referenced in one of the tweets), which is almost laughably ancient, outdated, and difficult to use. SHARES has already been responsible for lots of…

BUT I’M ALLERGIC TO RED

Oh man, I found the old Wonderworks version of “A Little Princess” a while back on Youtube and promptly lost the rest of that workday to nostalgia-watching. I was a rather dramatic child and liked to imagine I was poor put-upon Sarah Crewe during her “forced into servanthood” period whenever my mom made me dust.