That’s his swimming eye dog. In case he has another episode of forgetting where he is and what he’s doing.

We’ve always been at war with Eastasia.

Here is my question: is a female athlete allowed to supplement her testosterone levels to match her hyperandrogenic rivals? Because if the answer is ‘no’ then they are stating that testosterone DOES have an effect on performance. You can’t have it both ways.

Well, that’s it. To all the assholes badmouthing Brazil about venues collapsing left and right, a zika epidemy, ever athlete being kidnapped and murdered, everybody dying from the water and other bullshit, eat your hearts out! The only relevant incident happened in the imagination of Ryan Lochte.

Having respect for transgender people and also believing Kaitlin Jenner may be a phony are not mutually exclusive points of view.

For now yes. Unclear what happens after this interim three-week period but yeah all my stuff will appear in this space, and I love it. Jezebel is an amazing site, and I especially love its pop culture coverage. I’m excited to contribute to it regularly.

*Fedora tipping intensifies*

100% of those surveyed who believe sexism is no longer a problem followed their answer, unprompted, with: “do you even know what it’s like in Saudi?” Then they shared a meme about how nice guys never get the girl.

have a gift, friend. So tiny. So cute.

That is an excellent way to distract a person!

Always gross, but we all know Johnny Depps from our late teens and early twenties. Aloof, mysterious guy with greasy hair, always up for an interesting time (at least superficially, whole lotta mess if you go into deep personal topics) who just doesn’t care about the mainstream bullshit. Maybe he majors in [select…

We love you guys!

In all seriousness, what the fuck am I supposed to do at work all day now? My job? No thank you. Legitimately upset about the demise of Gawker, which I’ve followed since it started. May Peter Thiel suffer from a debilitating rectal prolapse while his Tesla catches on fire. RIP, Gawker.

Did you walk into the office and ask “So, did I miss anything? What.......?”

Hey, it worked for Dan Gilbert!

I came down to the comments just to make this point. Like, really? Comic sans? The laughing stock of all fonts??

I mean there should be some sort of universal law that says that if you use “Comic Sans” on any sort of legal order or document the document is void.

You see, because Brazil is all about the fun. And the good and wild times. So yes, it is the national typeface.

I used to work for a doctor who would print out his directive in size 48 comic sans and then staple that creatively to the lab reports in question so that you could see every individual page. His creations were so large they often didn’t fit in inboxes. He was such a troll, he delighted in shit like this.